Friday, April 20, 2012

A scientific study of a brain possibly deprived of oxygen (y'all)

Lately, since I haven't really been getting out of the apartment, on account of the Babe needing to have the oxygen tank by her at all times in case she falls asleep (And as much as I like a good, colorful accessory, I'd prefer a head band with a glittery bow [No. Seriously] or that other Rebecca Minkoff bag instead of the steely geriatric coolness that is an oxygen tank on wheels. Snazzy, huh?), I've been getting weirded out by things on the internetz and things I see from the car on my way to the hospital.

Good stuff folks. And not at all contrived. Nope.

:: Why are people mean and preachy on Baby Center? Oh wait, I know! Probably for the same reason they are unable to spell 'fertile'. There are some folks seriously lacking in the education department.

And I'm not mean. I'm sarcastic, sardonic, and delightfully snarky.

:: If the World Health Organization recommends that all women exclusively breastfeed (just a [not so] little tidbit: My computer is refusing to write 'breast'. It's either because of that same internet phenomenon as Siri sending people looking for abortion clinics to anti-abortion websites [in that case, conservatives/ religious nut jobs, leave my MBP be!], or my MBP just being unaccustomed to writing 'breast' instead of the phonetically more correct, and the far more frequent [with moi] BOOB, which it would probably write comfortably [magically?] without me even touching the keyboard. Whatcha think? Not Friday tidbit-y enough for ya? 'Kay.), for the first six months, why are they not doing anything about the 'maternity leave' afforded to Mexican women/ women in Mexico? No wonder the women quickly switch to (or automatically choose) formula when they are allowed all of 42 days (that's 6 weeks folks) after delivery, at home with the baby? If they're among the lucky ones that is. So if BOOB's the way to go, why is the Mexican legislation making Nestle so much money in formula-proceeds?

I will not be held accountable for how much money I'm making for Nestle by over-using, to the point of actual substance abuse, my new Nespresso machine. This is about formula. Not my addictions.

:: Were the Mayans on to something and will the world really end this year? The earthquakes, and now this possibility of a major volcanic eruption, not 70 kilometers from Mexico City, point to yes.

Does Tom Cruise have something to do with it? I believe so.

This might just be what happens when I don't get any of the oxygen I'm however forced to cart around

1) When is Katie Holmes's birthday? On December 21st, when the world is supposed to end!
2) Is Tom Cruise short like I imagine the Mayans were? Yes.
3) Is coffee production suffering in the world? Indeed.
4) Who is in the Nespresso commercials? NOT Tom Cruise. That's who.
5) Is there a Mayan wanna-be (could be Aztec, in which case the world's probably not ending after all, sorry for the panic y'all) dude dancing at a stoplight on the way to the hospital? Yes, but he wasn't there last year.
6) Who died yesterday (Or possibly the day before. I'm on mommy time, so sue me)? The man who counts in the New Year.


I rest my case. And all the others too.

Lalalalalalalalalalalala laaaaaaaa

:: So. 'Authors'.

This one'll be a little cryptic unless you also dabble in the Down syndrome circles

I'll wait until someone gives me the book second hand, but it already bothers me that I hear that she refers to her OBGYN as Dr. Hottie during the, for her, trying time of coming to terms, while "writhing in bed crying", with her daughter's diagnosis.

Cue 'The Keepers of KH' and the comments of ripping the 'bitter, jealous bully' that this reference naturally makes me, apart. Or not. Maybe there's some sense left in the world after all. We'll see.

And finally. The biggie/ The one that's really mind boggling in ways so disastrous I dare not delve too much into it lest it (grammar is the shiz, right) destroy a part of me permanently. 

Also know as "people can be so fucking stupid that it makes me want to tear everyone not using the correct terminology a new one".  

:: In-laws Random strangers who should at least tolerate you because you married their brother.

And definitely not say they understand if people pity you because you gave birth to someone who, apparently, is not 'normal'.

I'm so angry, I'm amazed I'm still in one piece and there's no blond shrapnel stuck to my new couch.


It seems that I did not look out the window once while on the way to the hospital. Might have been on my iPhone surfing the net.

No point. Just Mexico City.

CLICK on the links people. Then it just might make sense, but I've also been drinking a lot, so really, in the end, all bets are off. And uncorked.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Facebook fails (not mine, Mark Zuckerberg's)

I know what you're thinking, but no, no Facebooking while severely intoxicated again (I've mah-tured, I have, and I also seriously miss South African wines and their prices and have a hard time adjusting to the fact that of all places CostCo should be the best place for quality alcohol. I mean, it's where I go to get diapers in bulk, not my pinot blanc). Not even a little bit. I've been seriously RESPONSIBLE, believe it or not, and all gung-ho motherly, and then even a little Easterly, although you're all aware (the ones who still read this dribble, that is, and Mother) of my holiday track-record and how I really do detest a holiday. So no.

I've behaved.

Facebook is the one seriously failing.

Or as I posted on my actual Facebook:

Mark Zuckerberg, you are a giant asshole.

There are pages on Facebook that seem to be created with one sole purpose in mind, to insult and to aggravate. Some of these pages equate Down syndrome with the worst of insults. Now, this is nothing new. There always have been and there always will be jerks who hide behind anonymity (or at least the distance created by the global aspect of the internetz) and for some reason feel the need to do this. Just do a search for Down syndrome on Twitter, or on Facebook, and you'll see the rampant lack of education some folks seem to take pride in, or at least don't mind parading around in their virtual existence.

There's one page in specific on Facebook. Using Down syndrome as an insult and pictures of children with Down syndrome in a way that equals hate speech against a group with a disability.

If you are now searching Facebook for this specific page, please do me a favor and report it. Thanks.

People who know better have reported it. And we know, since Facebook did notoriously take down those pictures of breastfeeding women, that they're all gung-ho (like I'm about being all cookie smelling and not drunk) about regulating what gets put on their service.

So you'd think they would have flown at the chance of yanking down hate speech. Right?

Well, they haven't. And apparently won't.

The person who owns this despicable page says it's 'social humor'. And by not taking the page down, Facebook agrees.

Mark Zuckerberg is helping to spread hate speech against people with Down syndrome. By actively sending out mails to people reporting the page saying that the page can stay up. Saying that Facebook sees nothing wrong with it, and thus saying that people with Down syndrome should never be listened to, that they have no value and that their diagnosis, which equals a part (but certainly not all or even most) of who they are in this world, is something that can be used to insult, to aggravate, and to hurt.

Just how fucked up is that? Just how fucked up is Facebook?

Babies feeding is offensive, but using someone's diagnosis as something to insult is not?

Totally fucking makes sense, Mark. Like I said in that mail I sent you, the one that you didn't reply to or act upon, "Please don't be an asshole."

If I had a picture of an actual asshole I would have posted that, but, alas, I'm a mother now.