Friday, February 26, 2010

Bye

How to handle this?

How to talk about this?

My Grandmother on my mother's side passed away on Monday afternoon. She wasn't very old and she wasn't very sick. She had a heart attack putting away groceries while my Grandfather was getting firewood from the shed. She wasn't breathing when my Grandfather found her and there was nothing the paramedics could do to bring her back. She was gone.

She is gone.

Her last word was 'coffee'. She was going to make some for herself and my Grandpa, which is only fitting, since that's what she spent most of her life doing. There was always hot coffee. Or at least the thought of making some and then drinking some.

Always coffee. For everyone.

Imagine her horror when she found out that my Viking didn't drink coffee. The first few times she simply ignored the exotic ways of this weirdo foreigner and poured some in his cup anyway, but once she found out that instead of the Viking it was I who was secretly downing the manna in his cup in addition to my own, she solemnly ordered him to "At least drink milk, boy". Loudly. And in Finnish.

I think that's when the Viking (after a sugarcoated translation from me) finally understood what it meant for me to say that I loved him "even more than coffee."

In not so many days I'll be in Finland, sitting in my mother's kitchen, drinking copious amounts of Finnish coffee, and talking about my Grandmother. While my mother makes sure there's hot coffee in the pot.

Always coffee. For everyone.

My Grandmother will be missed.

36 comments:

Angelina said...

Saying a good bye to someone for the last time is difficult and so final. I just did the same to a friend of mine on my blog today.

Your Grandmother seemed to be a wonderful woman, and I know you will miss her terribly. I am raising a cup in celebration of her life.

An Open Heart said...

My condolences.

S

'Drea said...

My condolences on the loss of your grandmother.

Those heart attacks are tough because it takes the person away so suddenly...

Heather said...

I'm so sorry to hear that. thinking of you.

Tonia said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your Grandma - mine always had tea in the pot: it's that kind of thing that is missed the most.

Fidgeting Gidget said...

Thinking of you!

Audreya said...

I'm so sorry for your loss! I recently lost my great-grandmother (more expectedly, however, as she was 103 years old) and my blog tribute was to the gum drops she always had in the candy dish.

While we miss our loved ones dearly, at least they gave us many happy memories!

Cyndy said...

*Big Hugs*

It's always the simple things, isn't it, that touch the heart? I love how you are able to waken the senses of a simple thing like coffee and contribute its wonder to your grandmother.

When my husband's grandmother passed away, I thought of the hand held mixer she gave me. She gave us many other gifts, some very generous, but it was the mixer I thought of when she passed. With my dad's mom, it was a color: beige. Not in the bland sense, but classy. Like champagne. Again, she had so many characteristics, but it was that color that filled my thoughts.

Embrace the time with your family while you celebrate a life that touched so many ~ we here in blogging land will sip our java with a bit more consideration while thinking of you...

Esmerelda said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I wish you a decent flight (I know it won't be good) and I'll drink a Starbucks and think of your grandmother.

Vancouver's Enviro Girl said...

I am so sorry and sending you hugs and lots of support at this difficult time. You are never far from my thoughts.

noturtypicalmama said...

What lovely words- I am sorry for your loss. I recently lost my grandmother, who was 93 and a very special woman, and it is hard. In your words I can picture your grandmother so clearly and imagine that her image (and the way she made others feel) will live on.

Lisa-Marie said...

I am so, so sorry for your loss. It is lovely though, that you have good memories of your grandma.

Tri Mommy said...

I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts.

molly said...

terribly sorry to hear the news.
my thoughts are with you.

Stephanie said...

My condolences on the loss of your grandmother. Safe journey to Finland.

Not So Glamorous Housewife said...

So sorry to hear. Have a safe trip.

My name is Erin. said...

Maybe I was sensing your loss, because my own Finnish grandmother has been on my mind ALL day long. She's been gone almost 10 years now.

I'm so very sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and to the rest of your family. XOXO

Bored@Work said...

My grandmother passed away last year- people seem to think that its a grandparent and they are supposed to die. But not my grandmother. I miss her every day and thank...whoever, that I got to spend as much time with her as I did.

I'm really sorry for your loss

anna said...

Raising a latte to your grandma in NYC. Hugs.

J said...

It's always tough to lose someone who's been there in your life for as long as you can remember...but we can make sure the memories of such people stays alive in our beautiful thoughts of them.

Erin P said...

Your post is beautiful. I'm sorry your grandmother has died, and so suddenly. Her traditions are your own and she will be with you always--particularly with every cup of coffee. Wish there were something I could say which would help you feel better.

Loco YaYa said...

i have read you for quite a while, not sure if i have ever commented.

my grandmother, she always had coffee. any time of the day. although we are not finnish. cajun french to be exact.

i lost her less than two years ago. i am so sorry for your loss. my heart is with you.

i miss the coffee.

MissBuckle said...

So sorry, sweets. Lots of love and hugs.

Gracey said...

My condolences.

Optimistic Pessimist said...

thinking of you. wishing you much healing as you spend with your family reminiscing and drinking coffee.

Ellie said...

I'm smelling my drip feed right now and will drink it with more appreciation for my loved ones - condolences and safe travelling.

histreasure said...

my condolences..have a safe flight and try to hold onto the good memories.. hugs

julochka said...

i hope you made it despite the delay thanks to the finnish olympic team. i think the best thing you can do is drink lotsa coffee. to honor your grandmother's memory. thinking of you.

xox,
/j

p.s. does the viking REALLY not drink coffee? mine didn't drink it either when i found him, but he does now. with plenty of sugar and milk (it's a good thing they're so in touch with their masculine sides, because those vikings can be surprisingly bøsse). :-)

B said...

So sorry to hear about your Grandma, Ext! Thinking of you and your family.

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Chris said...

My heartfelt condolences and love. I'm so sorry.

Mandy and Rob said...

Greetings from Cyprus, enjoyed your blog, sorryabout your loss, Regards
Rob and Mandy

http://anewlifeincyprus.blogspot.com/

dutchbaby said...

My deepest condolences to you and your family. I will toast my next café au lait to your grandmother.

caroldiane said...

oh my dear, how sad for you. I remember feeling such a big loss when the grandmother who was also my best friend died. Hugs, hugs and take good care of yourself! xo

Aviva said...

Just wanted to express my sympathy on the loss of your grandmother. I remember how hard it was when mine died, way back in 1985. I still miss her.

kanishk said...

I just did the same to a friend of mine on my blog today.
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