Tuesday, May 17, 2011


You know that discussion where a pregnant woman is asked whether she's hoping for a boy or a girl, and the woman, although probably thinking "I'm so going to throw a megatantrum unless I get some decent wear out of those little princess baby-tutus I've been buying online" or "I've already painted the nursery blue, so whaddya think?!?!" answers "Oh, we don't care whether the baby's a boy or a girl as long as he or she is healthy"? (Brad paisley even wrote a song about it.)

I know you do. You've had that discussion. I've had that discussion. I've been the one asking, since previously the only baby-related chit-chatty blurb of baby-shower blab I have been able to come up with has been either that piece of shining brilliance and originality, or my all time favorite: "So, you craving anything weird... like dirt? I read some women want to eat dirt?" which has always proven very successful in that I've never had to elaborate, or better yet, host any baby-related shindig.

But now I'm supposed to be on the answering end.

Only, I already know that we're having a little girl, and that our little girl will never be classified as completely healthy, since she'll have Down Syndrome.

Now, I've already read enough to know that she won't be suffering from Down Syndrome, and neither will she be inflicted with it, she'll just have it, like the reddish hair she might inherit from the Viking or the narrow face and a pair of dark blue eyes set just a teeny tiny bit too close to each other to really be attractive, she might inherit from me. Although, let's hope she inherits my blondish locks and the Viking's strong chin and nose instead, shall we...

But what do I tell people who look at me with pity in their eyes?

Our daughter, she'll be special alright, but only because she'll be ours. We'll care for her and raise her, and hopefully enable her to face this world without too much alcohol and caffeine (something her mother has been known to occasionally struggle with, although not whilst pregnant I assure you, I might be off the charts in many ways but I mean no harm) and with an attitude that will allow for her to be ambitious while still enjoying the stuff that really, once you get down to it, makes all of this living worth it somehow. Like avocados and 90s pop.

And let's face it: She will be inflicted with a mother who I'm sure will still feel, at 40, 50 or even 60, that she can pull off a blue mohawk. No doubt about it!

Try that on for teen drama.

A little memento from the land of our little daughter's conception. 
Come to think of it, she might also be inflicted with a mother who is willing to include time and location of the actual conception in the birth story. 
Sick, right? 


Vancouver's Enviro Girl said...

WAIT, WHAT??? Did I miss a previous post??? You are pregnant? Yipeeeee!!!! I am so happy for you guys!

MissBuckle said...

:-) She'll be special all right. Just like you :-)

julochka said...

i think your thoughts and your heart are in the right place and your strength will get all of you though. i'm positive she will be amazing.

Tonia said...

The very best thing you can do for your daughter is to teach her that it is ok to have an electric blue mohawk at whatever age; that wine and coffee rock; and that embarrassing conception and birth stories are always best shared.

So, no sorrow, no pity, just heaps loads of joy for the 3 of you - may you all continue to rock Mexico city to its taco-filled crazed foundations.

Lynne said...

I think the extra chromosome that Down Syndrome children have gives them a double dose of all the genes for love. In my experience, they are the most loving people you'll meet. There will be acres (hectares!) of joy on this journey.

Robin said...

She will be wonderful and the best thing that has ever happened to you. Motherhood is scary, let alone knowing that your child may struggle in one way or another. They all do though, just in different ways. You've got this thing handled. I'm so happy for you to have a healthy baby. Now it's your turn to cross your fingers for me as we wait another 17 weeks to see if our little one has an issue from the chord problem. All is looking good for now. Best wishes crazy girl.

Amy said...

she's the luckiest little girl out there for having you both to raise her.

Stephanie said...

Lynne said it perfectly!

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Anonymous said...

I don't mean to be anonymous - Chantelle Ashley here.

Adrian has a sister with Down Syndrome and sadly, the childhood they all faced makes them indistinguishable from one another in that respect. Sadly because every person SHOULD be an individual and treated as such. Motherhood is a hard job, and we often forget to be thankful at 2am for the third feeding, but WOW does it snap things into perspective and force you out of your comfort zone and into ... in my case, at least ... something way more beautiful, multidimensional and cool. You already have most of that mastered, so now you just need to stock up on tissues. Your baby has two of the coolest parents I know and I exaggerate not when I say that if anyone can surround her with the support and values she needs to feel just as special as any kid should, it's you. Also, being the smart and savvy researcher extrordinaire you are, you will probably be well placed to anticipate and help her through any of the health problems that may accompany her happy arrival. CONGRATULATIONS!!! I think the thing your little girl can most look forward to inheriting is amazing-ness.

spudballoo said...

Oh it's been forever since I've been here...and what BRILLIANT NEWS I find. Huge, huge massive congratulations - I'm thrilled to bits for you, I know you are going to be a brilliant mother. What a lucky girl your daughter is to have such a cool and rocking mama.

I'm sorry to hear your journey together will have some complexities but, in the words of a cheesy song, love is all you need. I don't say that to sound glib, but it's worth getting back to basics when the road gets rocky.

You've made my day, really I'm so cheered for you all. xx

Kaotic said...

First off, congratulations and your little girl is lucky to have parents with such a positive attitude and outlook.

Oh, you had better warn her about that blue mohawk!:-)

Molly said...

Also coming over here after an age (but frankly can you blame us? I would ask you where the hell you've been but I guess you just told us).
Congratulations my dear, in my experience kids in general are weird, unfathomable, infinitely loveable, utterly frustrating and so.much.fun.
Yours will be exactly that too.
Keep us posted!

molly said...

cuz lets face it, we're all 'inflicted' with something and we get by on the love of family.

my best wishes going out to you guys, how freakin excited you must be!!

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