And the summer is finally here.

However, so is heat stroke.

Note to self: Wear a hat playing golf out there in the heat, around noon, you stupid, practically bald woman. Otherwise you will not only scorch your scalp, but boil your brain too. Whatever there is left of it. And let's be honest: You ain't got too much to spare.

No, sunglasses really don't count as a hat, not even if you keep thinking that they're almost like a hat. That is the kind of wishful thinking universe doesn't give a shit about. And if you say it out loud, people will just laugh. So keep quiet about this and wear a fokken hat.

So is life. Get on board.