I made it back home in one piece from my shopping trip. This, I now feel, is an accomplishment because I hadn't realized it was in fact the Saturday (i.e. not a normal weekend, but the day after labor day), the day for more partying and/or family fun (should one be so inclined), and most people on the road were either drunk, or constantly turning towards the backseat threatening to smack a child with a
sloppie (a shoe of the sandal variety), or both. I also feel quite a sense of victory, having regained my sanity after a rather nasty encounter with a weird Afrikaans live-music performance, and immediately after finding out that both Seattle Coffee, and Mugg and Bean have closed down. Had it not been for the awesome cashier at Exclusive Books and the guards who asked me where
Mrs. Guru has been hiding, I might not be here writing, but huddled in the corner of the Checkers wine section monotonously repeating "ma'am, excuse me, ma'am, please let me pass, ma'am excuse me, ma'am please move your cart, ma'am, please." I wonder what personality glitch makes it impossible for me to do like all the other Joburg shoppers and just ram the people in my way with the cart? Could it be that underneath I'm actually decent? I doubt it.
Let's remind ourselves why I left the house today (other than it had begun to seem like it just was time). According to the list I left on the kitchen counter, my acute needs were: milk, coffee, eggs, iPhone, an outfit for brother-in-law's wedding, wheatgrass capsules, Elisabeth Arden 8 hour cream, and toilet paper. One would think that this wasn't too much to remember even without the list. That's why I did not turn back. For some reason I felt confident.
Should not have.
As I'm now surveying my boon, this is what seems to have come home with me: 5 bottles of wine, 8 different kinds of sugar-free chocolate, too much ham for any one person to eat - ever, a book
Mushy Peas on Toast by a fellow-blogger
Laurian Clemence, wheatgrass capsules (1 out of 7), toilet paper (2 out of 7), milk (3 out of 7), some new cream that will make the pulling sensation across my cheeks disappear, and 3 cans of tuna. Somehow I thought that if I remembered only one thing it would definitely be the coffee, but it seems that my brain is even more complex a creature than I had realized.
Another try. I'm off to the gas station.
At least I have wine.
