Aks me or I be blue

Regardless of the sun, and the impending summer, and the long-awaited rains looming in the horizon, and my fast-approaching 200th post, I'm feeling a little blue today.

Is this one feeling Blue or purple?

I'm just not feeling today. You know.

So what now, why you blue Everyday Extranjera? You don't even like the color. Not since your mother made you wear it for 18 years in a row, because "it looks good with your skin tone and the blond hair." Ah, that hair, who would have thought that getting away from underneath those mandatory bangs would be such a relief.... But why you blue girl?

Is it the Viking? Did he do something? Come on, you can tell me...

NO! He did nothing wrong. Although I managed to yell at him for putting on too much cologne this morning. And now he's gone to work thinking he smells like he poured a medium-size bottle of musk (Is this liquid? I don't know.) mixed with some old-man-trawling-Cancun-for-a-dance-partner on himself.

It might have been the navy-blue polo he was wearing. Like a red flag to an angry bull. Dunno.

So what? Is it the fact that your jeans for a 'curvy figure' are a little on the tight side around the waist moving you from voluptuous curviness to fat territory more strongly than ever?

Come on Curious Extranjera, you know I don't care about that.

True, they hurt my back where I was abused by the physiotherapist yesterday, but other than that I can still breathe. And that is a silver lining If I ever came across one.

Huh. Well, I guess whatever floats your boat girl. Go for it. But do tell me, if it isn't the blue-jeans cutting off your circulation, what's wrong then?

Well, I guess it's mostly nothing. Small things here, small things there, only decaf left in the house... You know how it goes.

What? Did I do something grocery-related to make you sad?

No, I forgave you for eating those strawberries. Allergies schmallergies. I'll get over the swelling and the rash around my mouth soon enough.

Oh, yeah. Sor-rey. Didn't mean to eat so many. They were just so good. My apologies!

But If you're taking even something that makes your lips impersonate Angelina Jolie's on crack in your stride, what could it be that's making you so blue. You seem to be dealing?

See, even now I'm going to pretend that the 'on crack' part isn't there at all and just run with 'Angelina Jolie's'. So yeah, I'm dealing. Just feeling blue.

Oh, I know now! It's the fact that the third season of Weeds has been sold out in the entire greater Johannesburg area. Right? And that you had to watch the first season of True Blood instead? And find out that vampires hold absolutely no fascination for you anymore. 

Yeah there was that. Don't forget how much that whole vampire-sex-feeding-weirdness creeps me out. Yuck!

Shudder.

Okay, so if I'm not going to get a straight answer from you, let's try this a little differently:

Everyday Extranjera?

Yes, Curious Extranjera?

What would make you happy today?

Well, many things. World peace, Weeds third season magically appearing on my desk, end to famine, honesty, a really nice steak, getting a really nice haircut without having to get my hair cut, end to pettiness... You know, the usual.

But most of all it would make my day if you all asked me more interesting questions for my 200th post. Right here in the comments or by emailing me at extranjerafinlandesa@gmail.com

That would totally be the icing on the cake, and possibly even the bubbles in the champagne.

The cream on the top is already reserved for the cool peeps who asked me some questions yesterday. Thanks guys! And thanks for the congrats y'all!

You are making me happy! And not at all blue.

Towards a better internet-tomorrow

There are no updates on when my internet will be returned to me. The situation is fast approaching complete chaos and mayhem. These are in no way mutually exclusive and can easily be instigated by one single person. Me.

I'm going all viking here folks.

But before that I'll wax all poetic.

It is now day two since the darkness of unconnectedness descended on me like an angry swarm of...

Hey honey. What are them things that swarm?

Uhm? Bees? Mosquitoes? Squirrels? Oh hey how about having some Mexican food tonight? Fancy some tacos, mamacita?

No, honey! Focus! Swarmy things?

Huh?

Okay. Whatevs. FINE. Think about dinner. What do I care.

It is now day two since the darkness of unconnectedness descended on me like an angry swarm of them things that swarm. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. I'm here by myself as alone as...

Hey, honey. What is like the most lonesomest animal in like the whole bunch?

Sorry? A bunch of what?

Of animals, dumbass. Of animals.

Oh, so now I'm a dumbass, because I'm thinking of dinner and not paying attention to you, while you sit with your nose in my computer, using my work connection, while I could be working.

Playing Mafia Wars on fokken Facebook. That's what you would be doing. ....grumble...fokken...doesn't pay attention...grumble...

It is now day two since the darkness of unconnectedness descended on me like and angry swarm of them things that swarm. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. I'm here by myself as alone as a deer in the headlights.

Hey, honey. What's the 'deer in the headlights' thing again? Alone, right?

The what in the whatlights now?

A DEER in the headLIGHTS. That's what.

Uhm. Pumpkin. I think that actually means that you're like frozen or like paralyzed or something. I think.

Aw. Fok you man. What do you know about writing, anyways. If I wanted to know about sitting on my ass in an office and writing all sorts crap on the computer all day long I'd come to you, but now I'm talking about writing my blog.

Pumpkin, you make it too easy. I won't even make that joke. I won't.

Fok you man.

It is now day two since the darkness of unconnectedness descended on me like an angry swarm of them things that swarm. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. I'm here by myself as alone as a deer in the headlights. The only thing that I can do is to live in hope of a better tomorrow. Of an internet connection that will not be spotty nor die on me constantly. The internet connection of tomorrow.And dinner.

It's tacos.

Still no sign of internet.

What to do folks? What to do?