Thursday, November 19, 2009

Lame see, lame do

I seem to be a tad bloggily blocked.


Words to live by.

Or, actually, since this thing is all about being honest and shit, and I have long since crossed any kind of border to a land I love, but which with the invention of social media (whatever the hell that means) has become quite the tourist trap - the not quite proud or that independent Republic of Too much Information, I might as well tell you what I've really been doing.

Apart from having a very long and civilized discussion with my Danish BFF over Skype that meandered from literature, the staple in our relationship, to how much we hate it when people talk about their nails, to vitamins and how many we each take daily and what they might be called, to smells of the townships and how smelling those smells would create a new level of awareness for my friend, from a post-post-colonial, or perhaps rather globalized, point of view naturally, I have been doing something I probably shouldn't admit to.

What you are to take away from this description of the discussion is that I am in fact smart. Perhaps you should remember that little tidbit of important information when I reveal the rest of my doings. To put things in balance. Because I am smart. Really.

Am too!

Since yesterday afternoon, upon learning of its existence and only taking a respectful break to let in the maid (who now thinks I talk to my computer and rolls her eyes accordingly) and to focus on talking to my friend, I have been pretty glued to Lamebook.

I know it's lame (Duh. That's even in the name...), but I've read 62 pages of it, and I can't discern any light at the end of the tunnel. I'm hooked on stupid teenagers writing about their stupid escapades and then having to apologize to their uncles, or grandmas, or mothers, who they forgot were amongst their Facebook friends (Really?). I'm addicted to the pure stupidity that is status updates about bowel movements, herpes, and badly executed infidelity. I'm addicted to people's lack of common sense and common courtesy. I'm addicted to lolz that go with everything, even a dearly departed. But most of all, I'm addicted to a degree of stupidity, I have to admit, I didn't even know existed.

I'm baffled by a trend of adding vowels to the ends of words, and what the possible purpose of that practice might be (Heyyyy girlyyyy?). I'm intrigued by how mean some people are to others and how they still appear to be Facebook friends with each other. I'm outraged by the rampant bad spelling, but equally disgusted by the number of people who feel that it is okay to correct other people's grammar or spelling in front of all of their friends. I'm amazed at what many people seem to 'like', and weirded out by how much verbal violence there seems to be out there. It's a big jumble of ugly, disgusting and pathetic and I can't stay away.

I feel like an explorer charting an unknown territory. I'm amused, frightened, sometimes bored, and I can't stop. I need to know what lies beyond the next hill hacked status update by a jilted girlfriend. I'm hooked.

I admit I love laughing at others. And admitting you have a problem is the first step towards recovery.

Right?

11 comments:

An Open Heart said...

Okay, I stopped in at lamebook.....you're right...it's lame, but, addictive.....I feel like I should wash my hands or soemthing.

S

Stephanie said...

First I'd heard of Lamebook - checked it out - and it is aptly named...

Sara said...

Wow, I just wasted an hour. And, truth be told, laughed my butt off. It's a little like those moments when South Park first started and I kept thinking "I can't believe they said that!"

histreasure said...

named quite aptly,still now i have you to blame for anew addiction..like WTH?

Miss Footloose said...

Just say it, you say, so here goes: Thank you for saving me from another addiction. I am simply not going to click that link and try it out. I don't need it. I don't want it. I WILL NOT click the link.

I am so strong! Maybe not as smart as you, but STRONG!

For now.

kristine said...

this is absolutely BRILLIANT. I love it. (or rather, I loveeeee it, lol)

i am totally hooked. thanks. (i loveeee you, bff)

Cyndy said...

IKR? WTF is it w/other ppl? LIC what they think. MEGO when they give T(H)O. STFU! DILLIGAF? GIGO. That's what I say. As2 the sp?, get a fokken DXNRY or JFGI. G2G. T4BU. T:)T...

(Translation: I know, right? What the fok is it with other people? Like I care what they think. My eyes glaze over when they give their (humble) opinion. Shut the fok up! Do I look like I give a fok? Get in, get out. That's what I say. As to the spelling, get a fokken dictionary or just freaking Google it. Got to go. Thanks for being you. Think happy thoughts...)

Myne Whitman said...

I was laughing at your post and now my eyes are smarting from the last comment. WTH? LOL...

You can still buy my book on http://stores.lulu.com/store.php?fAcctID=4531432

Anandi said...

Hmmm.....someone's grandma in a casket is not something I wanted to see early in the morning!
WOW! But I think I need to work on my constitution before I can stomach this really!

kristine said...

wow. cyndi's got it going on.

tattytiara said...

Peeked. Closed the tab. Can't afford another internet addiction. Nuh uh.