Tuesday, February 03, 2009

The maid chronicles. Part gazillion and four

I have a new maid (because), whom I immediately fell in love with because she was wearing a turban, and so far things are going like this:

After me explaining to her that we don't eat bread and I'm only buying it for her to eat.

Maid: Why you not eat bread?!?!? I eat bread ALL the time. Potatoes too. What you eat if you not eat bread?

Me (a little defensive): Well..., we eat meat, fish, vegetables and things. You know, we're not from here (if she only knew that bread and potatoes are all Finns ever eat, or at least did when I was a kid). 

Maid: Vegetable, that is good, but pork... You eat pork?

Me: Yes... yeah... Yes.

Maid: Porridge, you not eat porridge?

Me: Well. No. We don't eat wheat.

Maid: ?????

Me: We don't eat flour, you know flour? (making a sorry attempt at mimicking baking, I hope). Or mealie meal either.

Maid lets out a huge laugh.

Me: ?????

Maid: I eat chicken. I only eat chicken. I no eat cow, not pork, not nothing. Porridge, potatoes. I peel potatoes, put cream and cheese. Very good.

Me: Oh, that sounds nice (fake smile). You know, we're not from here (shrug).

Maid lets out another huge laugh and I escape to something reeeaaalllly interesting on the computer, that I need to ponder and frown at.

About an hour later as I'm still expertly frowning at the computer and the maid is preparing her lunch.

Maid: When you shop you buy me fish and beef.

Me: Huh?

Maid: Fish Lucky Star and beef. I write down?

Me: Ohm... Yes, please, yes. You mean beef, like raw or like to put on bread?

Maid: Yes, raw. I eat bread and Lucky Star or beef and bread. Next time you shop you buy. 

Me: Ohm... Okay.

Now what just happened?

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