Thursday, April 23, 2009

Advances (on me?)

I must still look extremely bored and as if I have absolutely nothing to do in the world. Or I have just been propositioned in a very roundabout, yet disturbing, way by a very much older, and shorter guy in a slick suit.

As I was making my way to the hotel bar this morning (Don't gasp. We've been over this before: they have the best internet, rocking lattes [spit-girl is not at work], and bonus cake. And I only start drinking in the afternoon... well after noon anyway), a man in a suit stopped me in the corridor: 

(I swore to myself I wasn't going to do another dialogue, but I can't help it, I'm on a diaroll. And apparently superbly funny. Ha.)

Suit guy: Are you on your way to the bar? I always see you writing away on that computer of yours (he proceeds to air-type - always suspicious). Listen... (he takes something out of his jacket pocket) I want to give you my card. If there is anything you need, don't hesitate to call me. Anytime (looks me in the eyes).

Me: Huh, Oh?!?! (cue eyebrows - this is my new, more polite, WTF?!?!). Well, thank you (I start moving away, quickly), I... will.

According to the card he is the Deputy General Manager of this here accommodation. But, boys and girls, the fun doesn't end there. A couple of hours on I have taken over one of the sofa groups (my bracelet demands its own chair) and there he is again, walking by:

Suit guy: There you are, typing again (air-typing - even more suspicious done a second time). I wish you would tell me what you are writing. A book?

Me: Hrhm? Ah? Huh? (Yup, I am just that quick) I'm supposed to... but I'm not (I was afraid he was going to ask to see it and I'm currently having too much fun with very crap sex-scenes).

Suit guy: Reports or something?

Me: Hrhm? Ah? Huh? (quick indeed) No, nothing like that, I'm just, you know.... (How do you tell people you can easily surf a whole day?)

Suit guy: (looking into my eyes) Well, maybe you'll tell me sometime.

I suddenly feel the need to pretend like something weird is happening on my screen and I have to peer into it and frown.

What's your take on this folks? Am I bored, making the whole thing up, completely insane, or in line to be the next missus Deputy general Manager? The hubby need not comment.    

24 comments:

julochka said...

i think you should tell him you work for a travel guide and tell him to keep the drinks comin' and you'll write something nice. :-)

or, you could say, i'm afraid i will simply disappear in a puff of smoke if i'm not online...

cuz that's how i feel.

julochka said...

you've made me laugh so hard today, reading through a bunch of your posts that i just officially named you my first blog crush:

http://julochka.blogspot.com/2009/04/blog-crush-what-will-i-ever-do-with-my.html

i really hope they all stop by.

:-)
/julie

Cynthia said...

Personally, I am flattered anytime I get propositioned. Even if the guy's a dork. At least you still got it!! Now, let's get back to the part about the "juicy sex scenes"...

The Secret Beauty Blogger said...

I never really looked at blogs until I recently started doing my own and absolutely love reading yours, thanks for making my day that little bit more interesting!

Extranjera said...

Thank you so much Julochka.
You totally made my day, almost leaving me speechless (but not quite, no one has ever been able to do that yet).
You are seriously cool And yes, I think I'll work the travel guide angle. Free booze is what it's all about...

Maternal Tales said...

Just followed julochka's lead and came over. And I'm sooo glad I did. Hilarious writing. And yes, I think you are definitely in line to be the next Mrs Deputy Manager. Way to go!

Extranjera said...

Cynthia - I's crap sex scenes, or more like embarrassing sex scenes - one of my specialities some might say, 'cept for the Hubby. He would be too afraid, me being East german shot put champion material and all.

TSBB - Thanks. Let you know how it goes with your advice.

Maternal Tales - Would that trump my current 'missus Engineer who does Nothing Useful or Engineer-y but plays a lot on the Computer' status or could I perhaps become 'missus General Engineer in Deputy Computers in charge of important Stuff' or some such unique thing?

Kamana said...

so glad i followed julochka's link... i can see why you are her first blogcrush!

marathoner81 said...

You're definitely in line to be the missus deputy general manager. He was so hitting on you!

Extranjera said...

Wow.
This poll is going great. I thought for sure the 'I'm insane' option would get a lot more votes.
But.. none of you have seen just how close to each other my eyes are, or what red wine has done to the color of my teeth, or to my posterior (not the color, the size) for that matter.
I think I'll wait for further results

And welcome to Africa, all you new peeps!

Kirsi said...

I'm so loving this!

I'd go with julochka and vote for the travel guide thing... Maybe tomorrow you could steel someone's eyeglasses and look really bossy and judgemental while writing... And maybe make some fake phone calls (since your phone's not working any way) pointing casually out your worries about the service there...

caroldiane said...

you have such a delightful way of writing - don't give up on the dialogues - they are great! thank you! I will be back to visit soon!

Extranjera said...

Thanks K!
Where's your blog????
Love ya!

Extranjera said...

caroldiane - Ta! I'm just trying to phase them out a little bit, the dialogues that is. But sometimes Africa is just TOO funny (or I'm too drunk and that's why Africa is so funny).

Sarah said...

Over from Julochka's...

funny, funny stuff...I'll be back!

SS said...

Hi.. thanks for sharing the story, I need the chuckles today. Off to look at more of your blog, maybe I can upgrad to some *snorts* with the chuckles.

It's not just you... you are in his sights.

julochka said...

had to check in again. pleased to see they're coming by (i could actually see that from my site meter). :-) your followers have increased dramatically. and while it's utterly unimportant in the Grand Scheme of things (whatever that may be, i just hope it involves good gin), it's really totally fun! yay for you ms. deputy manager--he probably thinks you're some kind of superhero amazon warrior goddess. :-) and i liked what kirsi said about playing the non-working phone angle. you may actually change the entire fabric of the cellular (3G?) net in zambia. i'm sure nokia would send you royalties for that. ;-) but i'll stop going on and on now...

The Clever Pup said...

looking at your side bar and seeing John Irving's Water Method Man. THe only Irving I've not read. He's simply great. Catch up.

Extranjera said...

Sarah and SS - Glad you like it. I wish I could say I aim to please but that would be a lie. I aim to do nothing for many hours a day and then drink some. Pretty exciting, huh?

The clever pup - It has a good vibe, but it's clear that it's no Garp, but it's no Setting Free the (horribly tedious) Bears either.

julochka - Kirsi knows me too well... And thank you so much again! Am totally in awe of what you have done for my measly blog. Cool as ever! And the whole hrhm... 3G... hrhm... cannot... well... there are reasons as to why we live the way we do and I'm pretty sure that specific company will never give us any more money. But MTN (the subscription I have) has been having a conference in my temporary hood. Worth a try on the money extortion side of things?
Thanks again. You are the coolest!

marathoner81 said...

p.s. check out my blog...I've awarded you the Honest Scrap award..you deserve it!

Extranjera said...

Marathoner81 - Why Thank you. I don't know what to say, other than my mother, who never thought being honest was my strong suit, will be proud.

Pearl of the World said...

Personally, I'd be a fan of telling the man with a straight face "Actually, I'm researching ways in which Mistresses can trick their lovers into giving them all their money before the men die from a mysterious ailment."

Extranjera said...

Pearl of the World - Hmmm. Interesting angle! I would consider that but I think it would interfere with my current plan of 'loving the hubby to death' by the time he's 60 and running off with his (our!) savings...

Amanda said...

You're obviously hot AND interesting with all of that computer work!

He so wants you...but with his seemingly strangeness (note air-keyboarding), he might be interested in your husband too...proceed with caution!