Hotel Manager: (in a machine gun fashion while holding his breath) So have you been able to get around Lusaka at all? Well, there really isn't that much to see, is there? Are you getting bored already?
Me: Oh no, not at all. I'm just doing here exactly what I would be doing at home any...
Hotel Manager: (cutting me off) I can organize for my secretary to take you to this wonderful place where they sell gemstones. Garnets, amethysts. My wife loves the place.
Hubby lets out a very audible shriek and his eyes roll back into his head (No, this behavior does not embarrass me at all).
Hotel Manager: (to hubby) No no, they are not expensive. I would in no way want to bankrupt you. (to me) I think you would enjoy it. I bought my daughter's birthday, christmas and graduation gifts from there. You see, they all match. Isn't it wonderful? For a hundred dollars you can get an amazing ring, or a pair of earrings?
Me: Thank you. Uhm... perhaps... yes... hmm...well. (finally resorting to flagging down a waiter and asking for more coffee).
I am now left wondering whether I really look that bored or that jewelry happy. I am majorly JH, but it's not supposed to show, and I feel I have been having a great time in Zambia.
I have been busy drinking cheap wine, reading, getting quite a bit of writing done, not to mention hanging out in the blog-o-sphere, making new acquaintances, and reading up on the old ones, when the internet has been working that is. On a side note, if my novel is ever published I will have to thank this hotel for their crap internet connection, and for thus curbing my Facebook addiction, enabling me to write instead. Sad but true...
However, this hanging out on the internet combined with cheap wine has brought on a new issue. The real point of this post:
Commenting while intoxicated.
I believe that the sad trend of either calling or texting your ex after having had much too much to drink has been well documented, but what about the newer trends of drunken (and stupid) facebook statuses, Twittering under the influence, wine-fueled hotmailing, googling old crushes after some beers and WikiWorldbook informing them of this, post bar-crawl blogging, and my personal downfall, the above mentioned commenting while intoxicated.
I have been told that there is some sort of site somewhere on the internet where you can go and answer some questions and after answering you will either be allowed access to your e-mail, facebook, blogger, etc accounts, or you will be classified as too drunk and told to try again the next day. If anyone knows the whereabouts of this miraculous invention, the information would be much appreciated.
As you can probably gather from this lament, no such site is in use when I'm out there cruising the highways of the world wide web. Nope. No sirree.
Yesterday, for some reason I quoted the bible in one of my comments. Me, the atheist. If you are the owner of that specific blog - sorry. You might be religious and not appreciate my grand idea of comparing the 'meek of the earth' to people who have no problem queuing for unspecified amounts of time. The thought seemed very logical at the time.
A couple of days ago I also recommended 'cimifuga' to someone, only I couldn't remember how to spell it so it came out more like 'fumigator', which taken for PMS might be a bad idea. Again, my apologies.
Lastly, I greatly regret all of my spit-related (in or out of beverages) comments. I have been preoccupied with the thought for some days now and it might have spilled over to some of the comments. Mea culpa. I will lay off of the spit now.
I also apologize for the spelling, or the lack thereof, and any other weird things I might have written, such as things in languages you have no knowledge of, or referring to a post you certainly did not write (problem with multiple windows).
Thank Zeus most of you have no idea who I am, and those of you who do, probably see this as an improvement.
At least I'm keeping in touch for once.