Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Reconciling and reclining.


Albuquerque sky back in August.

Not a cloud in the sky. Good book awaits in the barcalounger in the back garden. And sitting by the pool does not seem like the worst thing one could do while one waits for this thing made out of Coca Cola, J-man, white hair, gift-related blood-pressure issues, and red and green sugar swirls, which some of you like to refer to as Xmas, to slowly inch its way closer.

Not at all.

But why am I sitting by the pool with the husband? Naturally, the whole trophy-wifeism explains why I'm there (since I do nothing at all, but wear the bikini-uniform of all trophy wives everywhere, with makeup on, my nails and hair done, and with a glass of chilled Chardonnay in hand, while I veritably glisten in the sun. Oh, no, wait. That's an 80s movie. I sit by the pool with oodles of sunblock on, sweating like a pig, and hoping the sun will bleach some of the black off the hair and help in making it blue, and read intermittently while sweat stings my eyes. Oh and it's not like I can even glisten, what with the unshaved legs. Yup.), but what about the Hubs? Shouldn't he be sweating away in the office, since apparently, as soon as most people are away on their summer vacations they turn off the air-conditioning to save money? But this could also be a pity-fishing ploy on the Viking's side. Hmm.

Why is it that we're planning an evening braai this time around?

Good thing there's Google. And wi-fi in the garden. Makes fact-finding so much easier. Even for a busy, completely randomly sweating, and unshaved trophy wife.

Turns out today is the Day of Reconciliation in South Africa. In the New South Africa, that is. In the Rainbow Nation of the beloved Madiba.

In the old South Africa this day was celebrated because the Afrikaners beat the shit out of some Zulus in the battle of Blood River (or did they?), but also because the African National Congress (ANC, the ruling party now) decided to take up arms in their fight against apartheid.

So really, this is a public holiday that has done a complete 180. This day used to be about killing, having killed, attempting to kill, and then some more killing. With a twist of blood and suffering.

And now it's about reconciliation. And pools. And braai. And the impending Christmas and some hardcore shopping. Definitely sounds like something I can totally get on board with. And something that makes all the sense in the world.

Observe the spin:

Christmas is linked to shopping by that whole deal of those guys who went and found myrrh (and how much was that?), gold and whatnot and made a present of all that to the newborn. The babe in turn connects the whole Xmas deelio to the institution of braai by the fact that he was appropriating for a bed the dinner plate of a bunch of sheep and cows and some other animals (Would you believe that I have actually read the whole Bible? I wouldn't. But I have. So. Yeah.). So plate + lamb = braai dinner. The pool comes in the picture by way of the concept of entertainment area in South Africa, which is never used to signify your living room, or anything inside your house for that matter, but your patio with your braai and your back garden with the possible pool and some palms and plants and such (I could also connect palm fronds to the man of the hour, but I won't mix it up anymore. And that's more Easter anyhoo). And finally, reconciliation comes into the picture by way of sitting by the pool around Christmas time simply being something a Finn and a Dane must reconcile themselves with.

Ha! And it all comes back to me. Huge surprise. Totally. And I can't believe I just wrote that whole thing. There must be something wrong with me. Surely.  

But no worries. I'm sure some sun will clear my head. Or not.

Happy reconciling everyone! And big drunken smooches to all!

7 comments:

Ellie said...

bah humbug. To all things goodwill. I'm not feeling the love Can you tell? I am, however, feeling the heat. forty degrees C. today. Oh Melbourne, how fickle is your weather..... However, my legs are shiny. Do it for the shiny.

omchelsea said...

Jasper Fforde. Yes. He is the awesome. I'm so jealous you can sunbake. I would be dead in five minutes of massive-degree burns.

Optimistic Pessimist said...

happy reconciliation day...here's to hoping the sun brings out the blue in your hair!

Cyndy said...

The only thing I am reconciling today is my checkbook. Good will and peace are slated for next week. Must pace myself...

Will be thinking of you soaking in the rays as the flurries fly here in Central PA!

Cheers!

My name is Erin. said...

Sunbathing?! In your Finnish condition? Good luck with that. I burn if I sit beside a sunny window.

Leenie said...

Somehow you made the whole swirl of confusion about the combo of holidays even MORE confusing???? Adding ANOTHER party day to this insane time of year is just over-the-top. (Still stuck on the unshaven trophy wife in her barkalounger by the pool when I am scraping an inch of ice off my auto windshield.)

julochka said...

i totally believe you've read the whole bible. it's an exciting story. in some parts of it anyway. not that i've read the whole thing. but that one time when my mom dropped me off at the free bibleschool they tried to teach me to recite the books of the new testament in order and under duress, i could probably still do it. that's kinda like reading it, right?