Sunday, September 13, 2009

Did I ever tell you how much I love random lists?

(Not to be confused with anything as organized as an actual 'to do' list. Those are from you-know-where, and deep from there.)

Here are some light realizations to kick off the new week in style.

Did I say style? I meant rife with yeast infection.

However, surprisingly, that will be the shallow depth into which I will go about that specific infliction. So yes, you are very welcome.

Oh, and you can forget all about that 'Too Much Information' crap. I haven't believed in it since blogging about the gynecologist appointment or the potty dance.


But, ah yes, the realizations. In proud list form:

:: By introducing the Hubby to Flickr and Picnik you may effectually clear years of 'couple time' off your schedule. The man might find an obsession a hobby.

Girls' night out anyone? Or a Blog Camp South Africa? The Hubs won't mind. He won't even notice. He'll be here.

:: If you manage to cram mentions of both a yeast infection and golfing into one single tweet, there is a good chance you will score both a golfing follower and a yeast infection follower. Rest assured, you can block both.

Personally, though, I wish I had struck upon the name Yeastinfecinfo when choosing my Twitter-name. It's just too cool to block.


:: Taking two Canon DSLRs out for the day in the botanical gardens will make you (and the Hubby) feel way superior to anyone, ever, anywhere. You especially feel the boost when someone with an inferior Nikon walks by and hasn't even sprung for a decent lens.

After such a day it is advisable, however, to NOT look at the photos captured that day. In case they didn't turn out. Coming down can be rough indeed and you might get splinters on your ass.

Completely hypothetically of course.    

:: If you drink a whole bottle of shiraz before eating some of that lamb, there's not that much that lamb can do for you. At that point only a pizza will satiate that hunger. Good thing you have that pizza place on speed dial.

Why is it that no one has perfected the lamb pizza? Seems like a very viable idea (for someone else to engage in as their life's work). Especially if the pizza came with a complimentary bottle of Shiraz or possibly Pinot Noir.

I know you all are thinking it, but no one is willing to come out and say it.

Well, I am not afraid: Lamb Pizza.

Join me in the lamb-y future already!

:: There's no such thing as too much country. Or too county either.

:: Watching two seasons of Arrested Development in a short span of time might leave you feeling intellectually inferior, inferior as a writer, and ...gasp... feeling like someone out there, just maybe, might be more clever than you.

Noooooooh. Sigh. Sad shrug. Cry.

But again, this is purely hypothetical.

:: It takes a year for two Scandinavians (that's us) to go through a jar of 'Braai Mix' spice blend. Unfortunately Google yields no statistics on the general consumption, so the Scands will never know for sure how hard they kicked South African butt in being all properly South African and shit. But be sure, they did.

[Insert picture of the South African flag here. Not the ceramic one I accidentally glued myself onto on Friday, though. And no, I won't tell you what happened.]

They did. Nothing hypothetical here.

:: You can never get tired of Abba in spanish. Even if you should happen to speak Spanish. Although they do get a tad tedious in Swedish. Especially if you speak the language, and regardless of how many times they say k√§rleken, which is always fun.

:: That gum that wants you to believe that it gives you that 'brushed teeth' feel lies. Just brush your teeth. It's only two minutes of your time. Unlike a shower that swallows at least three minutes of precious time that could be spent either refreshing Twitter or sitting like nobody's business.


Now, guess which of the realizations are complete fabrications.

I knew it! She never even left the house. Damn her!

Or is she trying to trick us? She is a devilish one, that Extranjera. And I heard she's going to the Johannesburg zoo today. I wonder what that's all about. 

She did tell Opie that she would only post when she had something deep and insightful to say. So what is this? Is this all in code?

She's so weird...


omchelsea said...

tweet tweet...oh, hang on, not THAT kind of thrush. 'k. got it. Please read: The Slap. Christos Tsiolkas. ( I think that's how you spell it....) Anywho. Book club prop?

Ekanthapadhikan said...

That was a fun post and I liked what you said about husbands. But really? Do we, men act that stupid? I don't know. have to get married and read my wife's blog to know that!

Angelina said...

You got my funny bone again, can't imagine what will come from your trip to the zoo. All I can say is stay away from the monkey section.

M.J. said...

These are my favorite posts! I have an exceptionally short attention span, apparently. I like my info in chunks. Make me laugh in 30 seconds or I'm out!

--r said...

finch, you knock my socks clean off. just what i need on a monday back at work. of course, the co-workers would prefer socks on.
in my next life i want to be able to write blog posts as completely bizarre as this.

iasa said...

I think lamb pizza is a fabulous idea, although i'm a vegetarian so you'll haffi eat it all by yourself.

If you have Blog Camp SA, i will start prostituting and steal lunch money from the neighborhood kids so i can come. *cough* World Cup 2010

Lisa-Marie said...

Thanks to you, I have decided that when I get back to the new flat next Monday, I'm making lamb pizza. I'm thinking a spicy, tomato-ey Indian style sauce...

I shall link back to this very blog post when I blog it!

I really want lamb now, and all I have is chips,cheese and pork chops( our cupboards are a bit bare here as we are trying to eat everything before we move completely on Sunday).

Optimistic Pessimist said...

Honestly wine and pizza is pretty deep material.

You know I'm all over the SA Blog camp idea. I just can't do it until after I buy a house. I put back a $6 pashmina I was going to buy the other day. That's how serious I am.

silknparachute said...

Tea Tree oil, anti-FUNGAL, anti-YEAST, you should never live without it, ask the Australians. Dilute massively for any intimate applications.

Sandy K. said...

No lamp pizza, please. But lots more posts which keep me reading - thank you! Blog camp sounds wonderful, but I will need to win the Lottery first. Or publish the #1 best seller, tied with yours, of course.

How's the book coming?

omchelsea said...

Moroccan lamb pizza. Move to AUstralia.

kristine said...

i know a couple that spend most of their day commenting on each other statuses (stati??) on facebook. which might not be that weird except they both work from home, at desks next to each other. Some might think they could just talk to each other. But we, of course, know better.

kristine said...

just realized i am not sure whether my comment above bears any relation to your post. but thats (one of the reasons) why i like you. It probably doesnt matter.

Not So Glamorous Housewife said...

ummm... I don't twitter or text therefor I am a bit confused. I also still use a VCR and watch VHS tapes. Call me eccentric. Go ahead. Any-who, as for the lamb pizza. My thought is that after the bottle of Shiraz you could just throw your lamb on top of the pizza and call it a day. It could be good and if it isn't you are a little tipsy anways. Well, I'm off to watch some dirty dancing on my VCR and make a stop at the liquor cabinet on my way.