Saturday, September 19, 2009

The lamb on eggs and avo, with a side of coffee and alcohol, please.

I'm sitting here at the kitchen counter on a glorious almost-summer Saturday morning with my Mac watching the Hubs...

Oh. Gross. The guy's doing a salt water gurgle and spitting right into the kitchen sink, and well, that shouldn't happen on a Saturday morning, especially in front of an audience (ME). 

We'll pretend like that never happened. 'kay?

...watching the Hubs make cheese and bacon omelettes for us for breakfast.

My cup of very much caffeinated coffee is steaming next to me and its lovely soothing aroma is making my morning even better, while my mind has already wandered off to the braai this afternoon. A braai resplendent with what I could very likely survive on for the rest of my life if someone gave me the chance I needed to - lamb chops and riblets.

Oh, juicy lamb fat! I wish I could write poetry apart from the dirty and not at all inventive limericks all containing the words rock and lard, or the partly rhyming compositions on my love for Billy Idol/ Axl Rose/ that guy with a really long name from the show Saved by the Bell, that no self-respecting teen-magazine editor would let slip into their publication, not even into the 'Letters from our Readers' column.

If I could, I would write an ode to lamb.

Oh wait. I think I already have. At least three times right here on this blog. Uhhuh. Yup. I have.

Where exactly am I going with this?

Well, a while back my bloggy friend Kim from Albuquerque did a post that got me thinking about my favorite foods (and capital punishment and being a cook at a penitentiary, and...).

She also did one on the healthcare discussion which I totally agreed with. Just to let you know, that, well, I'm pretty smart and politically aware too. I am. It's not all about farts. Nope. Not at all.  

What would I order as my last meal on death row?

Which I'm deathly against. The executing part, not the meal. See, I'm aware.

Ah, Ext. This is a tough one....NOT!

I would have an avocado with salt, a couple of boiled eggs with salt, and lamb riblets and chops (with salt). And I would wash it all down with coffee, and a Galpin Peak Pinot Noir followed by a 1800 aƱejo tequila chaser if they let me.

And now I'm thinking what the above says about me. And I'm not sure I come off as completely sane. But hey, what's sanity compared to honesty, eh?

Oh look! The tequila just made a new friend.

What do you think? What would you have as your last meal?


omchelsea said...

Oh, STEAK, with mushroom sauce. With avocado (and salt and butter) on wholemeal fresh-cut TOAST. And those tiny baby potatoes par-boiled and then roasted. And flourless chocolate cake, veeeeeery gently heated. Oh, I'm now so hungry it's ridiculous. Yaaargh.

CrazyCris said...


me wants!!!

damn, now my breakfast isn't going to be anywhere near enough to satsisfy my crvaings... grrrr

An Open Heart said...

Avocado w/salt, for sure, prime rib, baked potatoe loaded, iceberg wedge with blue cheese dressing and since it would be my last meal, (I'm out of practice for this part)it would be accompanied by a cabernet sauvignon and for dessert a moist chocolate cake layered and enrobed in dark chocolate ganache...with a beautiful cup of hot coffee with cream in it.

Just Jules said...

I have never had lamb - never ever... hmmmm maybe I am missing something.

Anonymous said...

A nice tbone steak...baked potato...hummus with wheat crackers...shrimp....and an entire bottle of Grey Goose vodka, icey cold from the freezer;)

Breenuh said...

I think I'd go with steak, too. With lots of A-1 sauce. And a baked potato with every topping... cheese, sour cream, chives, bacon, diced tomatoes. Steamed broccoli with lots of cheese melted on top. On the side, a fresh salad with lots of veggies and pine nuts. And a big bottle of expensive Pinot Noir.

Wow, I think I may like food a bit too much :.P

caroldiane said...

hmm - well, mine would be a lovely french onion soup, followed by a fresh baby green salad with homemade dressing, fresh oysters, flash fried, spot prawns in butter and garlic, new potatoes with mint and a lovely BC Pinot Noir - mmmm...

Anonymous said...

I would need to have bacon, bacon and bacon ... served in a cake big enough to hide a kick-ass chainsaw so I can chop my way outta that place whilst chewing on the fat!

Middle Aged Woman Blogging said...

I just ate a slice of wheat toast, but after reading this and all of the comments.... toast just isn't cuttin' it!

I feel the need to run to the grocery store!! Later!

--r said...

enough jumbo, hot pretzels and cream soda to make me puke, followed by enough chocolate/mocha cheesecake to make my bellybutton explode. does that count as a meal?
meh. good enough.

Anonymous said...

The man who gargles the salty water might been facing a steam to his mouth. I heard that it may help to cure the steam

Chris Hoke said...

Last meal? This is a favorite dinner conversation amongst my friends.

Prosciutto and melon to start, followed by two dozen oysters Rockefeller and jumbo shrimp-fed shrimp cocktail (for that extra-shrimpy flavor). Then a salad with generous chopped bacon, blue cheese and avocado (the triumvirate of taste, we call it) and for the main course? Rack of lamb, medium-rare, and a bottle of cabernet sauvignon, no veggies. Followed by some real, unstable, French Brie, where the rind has started to brown and some fresh Gravenstein apples.

We only quibble about the dessert course: I say it should be bread pudding, which is the culinary equivalent of being enfolded in the arms of a loving, fleshy grandma. They, even my wife, says creme brulee.


And, yes, I want them to have to roll me into the gas chamber, vomiting and smiling.