Tuesday, August 11, 2009

There she goes, being all effin' positive again.

What do you do when the universe is being good to you and giving you the Hubby, some sunshine, friends, Little Bo Peep's unlucky companion in several juicy pieces, and a magnum bottle of The Chocolate Block 2006?

On a Monday.

You grab all that you can (lamb and Hubby have priority, in that order), you run zig zagging so that the universe gets confused and decides to nail that couple instead who are big news in Finland right now because they decided to engage in some sweaty lovin' (as only drunken Finns can) at the side of a popular jogging track. Oh yeah, Finland's got the summer bad, and you thank your lucky stars for this specific distraction for the universe. The big U really has to deal with those people first, and let the innocent less guilty enjoy their day.

Right Ho, Jeeves!

The couple is front page news, and any minute now, someone will bust them. The whole nation is waiting in suspense. Or at least the tabloids are. Nothing says news like an exposed, pale rump.

On a day like today, you don't dare rant and break your breather (which has nothing to do with you Kristine. I heart all of you bleeps ;o), or be mean. Other than about that Finnish couple. And really, they brought it on themselves once they dropped trou in public.

Today you will fire up the braai and empty the fridge onto it. You'll giggle away any need for the pretense salad lurking behind all of the meat, the glasses for water there just for show, and the utensils - the useless things. You'll eat lamb chops with your fingers out on the back porch in the afternoon sun and get some use out of the gazillion pairs of sunglasses that seem to normally only surface whenever there is no actual sun.

Mrs O'Leary's cow could not kick this one over. Also, Toto, I've feeling we're not in Chicago any more.

Today you will laugh with friends, and get grease in places it should not get unless you actually decide to comb your hair with the lamb chop (Not advisable. Flattens a mohawk like nothing else.), and decide that the 16 hour flight that will wreak havoc on your sizable behind is nothing compared to the delight that comes from just one more glass of that delicious Chocolate Block.

Possibly the best red blend. EVER. 
And yes, the tablecloth is the one practically glued onto our dining room table. It deters dirt and scares other pirates. The two flies with one stone thing. Ya know.

Perhaps tomorrow you'll be back to your original sarcastic self, since there is that brilliant, but difficult dissertation to proofread and that suitcase to be packed, but today you just want to say thank you to the women of South Africa for all of their efforts, and the fact that those efforts granted you this glorious free day!

19 comments:

Georgie K. Buttons said...

Sometimes you confused me, but I find myself continually entertained. :D

Eternally Distracted said...

Coo weee oh happy one. Maybe that tablecloth is also draining all evil and sarcastic thoughts too??

ignominia said...

???? what's this thing about the Finn couple? Not readign what you are reading please link/clarify?

*jean* said...

oo i need a tablecloth like that! too funny, you are..

kristine said...

hello there Pollyanna! Does all sound prfectly lovely, I must say. I am unfamiliar with this wine. I like something that carries associations to both wine and chocolate though, and am making a mental note to check that out the next time I am in a country that has beverages other than Belikin beer. (that would be Friday - WOO HO!). It looks expensive. You posh bird.
Also, please remember to let us know what happened with that couple. Its crazy what those northern europeans will get up to when exposed to a little bit of sunshine, eh? tut tut.

Savu said...

Oh that wine looks tempting...gotta go and check if its out here too!

Optimistic Pessimist said...

am sitting here at my desk wishing i were there. am craving lamb and wine now. doubt i will find either at the gas station over my lunch break today.

glad the universe had granted you this glorious day. enjoy!

Kyrie said...

I've never tasted wine (I'm underage), but you're going to give me a bad influence once I'm legal!xD

You'll have a better day today and tomorrow. :)

caroldiane said...

The Chocolate Block - had to look it up - cost $45 Canadian in our liquor store. I hope you enjoyed it!! I see nothing wrong with a blog full of joy - keeps us readers on our toes!

Lacedbackwards said...

You are funny and make my day brighter knowing that yours is

Vancouver's Enviro Girl said...

*sniff, sniff* you ATE Bambi?

Sara said...

The tablecloth gets 3 flies with one stone, actually, as it probably also keeps the FSM happy! Yeah for awesome days!

Kirsi said...

Good to hear you were having a lovely day! Hugs!

bmonty252 said...

Arr, that there cover on ye plank be pleasin' to me eye. T'as cursed this scallywag to scrawl this here message to ye

Not So Glamorous Housewife said...

Sounds great. I dumpster dove a perfectly good outdoor fireplace just the other day. I know, I shouldn't admit this right? I just can't help myself. I'm sick with the need to rejuvenate other peoples garbage. Looking forward to fire with late night drinks and lamb chop hair soon.

Cyndy said...

Nice. So very nice. Tumbled and rumbled through every line and word. Lamb chops, fire and wine? Lucky you! Must put lamb kebabs on the menu...

Safe travels...

histreasure said...

Now, i know i have returned to blogosphere. the last days off were spent wondering what was going on here..
and on that bottle of wine..coming from you, i believe it.

Wild Creations said...

I was just thinking - have you thought about moving to New Zeland? I hear they have lots of lamb over there...

ignominia said...

to Vancouver Enviro girl: Bambi was a deer, she is eating lamb...
they are still innocent animals but considering how plants have been proven to sympatize and suffer with fish being killed near by, soon we'll have to starve to death in order not to hurt other species...
pingsam