Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Very random sweating


There were some very cool, cool and much less cool things that happened this past week.

I danced for three hours straight at a weird basement club with a childhood friend and we managed to do the lambada as well as the macarena quite a few times, while a bunch of Finnish men were trying to cosy up to us by doing the very uncool (and sometimes scary - Really. Haven't you ever seen yourself dance? What you're doing is not hip hop, it's kicking the hell out of your fellow dancers) 'I'm bumping and grinding to your back in case you would be interested in a little something, something, or possibly a lot of something, something with my drunken ass'. Needless to say: no dice, even though my friend is single.

I danced for three hours straight at a weird basement club with a childhood friend and the next morning I couldn't get out of bed, because I think I managed to break my hip with lambada, or a well planned, superbly executed, and accurately aimed scary (glad i didn't hit anyone badly) burlesque kick. Think Moulin Rouge with a severely overweight Kidman kicking at everyone around her while headbanging vigorously to a late 80s nondescript pop song. Loved it, 'cept for the whole looming hip replacement.

I danced for three hours straight at a weird basement club with a childhood friend and the next morning I though my head was going to explode. Turns out one should not mix cheap wine with headbanging. Or better yet, headbanging should be avoided regardless of it being kind of cool to freak out the younger clubbers with said antic. Also, headbanging in air, as opposed to into a table, or a railing, or someone else's head is potentially a healthier, less painful choice come next morning. Although, I now very strongly feel that I still got it. Whatever it is.

I found out, or was actually reminded of the fact that the best time to enjoy a burger or two is after dancing for three hours straight. Makes them taste better. And they have to be burgers from here. And, no, the person serving you these burgers does not appreciate your wit at 3AM, or the informative (by which I mean completely made up) lecture on South African coins (nor are they accepted as means of payment).

With my Mexican/Parisian friend we learned that the best way to freak out a waiter in Finland is to demand an authentic Mexican margarita, give a mini-lecture on the palatal differences of lemon juice and lime juice (after consuming quite a few bottles of authentic French champagne prior to the lecture, or even arriving at the restaurant where we moved onto red wine), and do all this on a Tuesday night, 15 minutes before the place is set to close. Also, by tipping a waiter in Finland one can really screw with their heads, regardless of how well-deserved the tip was.  

Lastly, the other day I was putting on my shoes at my parents and I noticed that my mother owns a pair of Dr. Martens. The insoles have sculls on them. I asked her whether she had noticed the sculls and her response was: "Oh, the ones on my Docs?"

I'll just leave you with that.

20 comments:

julochka said...

totally unexplained flødebolle...tho' i adore the visuals of your dancing. i hope you might demonstrate that at blog camp.

Extranjera said...

It's a pind-is, and i do realize that doesn't explain it any better. I just like the joy it radiates. Or some such shit.
If I'm successful in tracking down some 1800 tequila I might just share some of my kick-ass moves. I'm fine.

Fidgeting Gidget said...

I love dancing relentlessly....your trip to the club sounded like fun! And the visualization of the younger clubbers watching the two of you is pretty funny.

Optimistic Pessimist said...

I have not had a dancing incident like that since the time I watched Dirty Dancing, then went out dancing. I thought my friend would just know to help hold me up as I flung my leg on his shoulder and tried to spin. Needless to say it didn't work out that well. I ended up on the floor with my skirt over my head. It never works out like it does in the movies.

kristine said...

People who serve burgers at 3 am really didnt get dealt the best cards in life. They get so see some of the worst of what humanity has to offer. They must be less then overly impressed with the rest of us. That said, I am certain your lecture on south african coins was informative and highly amusing, even if made-up.

B said...

We should totally dance la lambada at blog camp! And macarena... we'll need plenty of wine before hand though!

An Open Heart said...

I'm still reeling about your Mom and her "Docs"!
S

Loredana said...

K, love the last part about your mom calling them 'Docs'. That's just GREAT!!!

Vancouver's Enviro Girl said...

Don't you know we are getting too old to do things like that. And this TOTALLY explains the random and very painful twitching in my leg this week. You took it out and injured it.

julochka said...

ok, i can see that now, i wondered if the finns also had flødeboller. (i can't spell in danish--there's no connection between spelling and pronunciation.)

i think i can actually remember at least some of the macarena. must limewire that song....blog camp is gonna be a riot. i just bought 24 more bottles of wine, go to with the 12 i already had.

spudballoo said...

OMG i'm snorting and guffawing in an ugly manner...this is hilarious. Loving the mental image of you going off piste, Moulin Rouge stylee. Very funny, love it!

rxBambi said...

I hope you ladies have video cameras rolling at blog camp because I can't wait to see all the drinking, dancing, headbanging, lambadaing, and everything else. Plus I want to see next-day hangovers as well.
Sounds like you had a blast with your friend. I haven't done that in ages.
FYI- Krystals (similar to White Castle) is where we went at 4am to get several cheeseburgers. Very tastey. Both ways.

Just Jules said...

oh my gosh I am still laughing a little too hard at all of this ... and yes I think I am laughing so hard that I am now drooling a bit out of the corner of my mouth because all muscle control has left due to said laughing...

your words and image they bring up is hilarious but even more so is picturing myself doing these same things and the pain I later felt. I no longer can head bang- apparently there are certain muscles one doesn't use on a daily basis and they really do scream the next day! I wonder if there is an exercise video for this?

Also - the whole eating out thing - hilarious... I have been on both ends of this - not so funny if you are the waitress though :)

Ok need to go wipe the slobber off the corner of my mouth now!

Kirsi said...

How come you always think that you're the best dancer in the world and the rest of the crowd is just admiring your moves when you've consumed much or way too much alcohol... Then in the morning in between the banging in your head, you see glimpses of yourself doing all kinds of weird things last night... When the reality finally kicks, the only thing you can do, is hope there wasn't any body you know there...

Extranjera said...

Gidge - I'm basically made to club, especially if I think I'm just going out to eat and then for a few glasses of wine...

Opie - My panties were not showing on this occasion, but I'm not vouching for my bra. There were some excellent jumpy moves in there during the night and I had a loose shirt on.

kristine - The woman serving us was NOT into South African money. At all. I don't think she was even into working, or possibly being awake... I understand though, I've been on that side at one point in my life.

B - If my replacement hip arrives in time for BC I'm totally on board with the lambada. Macarena not so much, unless there's tequila.

An open Heart and Loredana - She's all nonchalant about them too... Like she's all into sculls now and stuff.

VEG - I know, but i also ate some chocolate for us to make up for the pain.

julochka - we have flødeboller too, but my grandma only serves traditional ice cream. And here's proof.

Spud - I don't think I'll ever be able to watch Moulin Rouge again. Kicking was fun though.

Bambi - Yup. That's what I need - more of me being all drunk and stupid on Youtube. Hasn't the world had enough already?

Jules - I think lambada-related pain might just be a universal infliction. Maybe they have support groups? What I do know is that they do have them for people who slobber all over their keyboards, but I don't think those people are doing it for the same reason as you are...

Kirsi - Yeah. What is up with the awesome dance moves morphing in your head into some sort of horrible imitation of a moose trying to give birth or possibly die the next morning?

Molly said...

Sounds like you had an absolute jol! VW is 'prans' - really - like you were 'pransing' around like a young 'un.
Which you still are. As am I. But ja, it's the recovery time which just seems to take soooo much longer these days ...
Oh and, I tagged you for a small meme - rock on over and get the deets.

Cyndy said...

3 hours of fun for you--at least 3 days that I will be chuckling, thinking of you letting really loose and kicking it up! Good for you! The combination of champagne, red wine and tequila has my head aching! How much coffee did that take to clear the system?

My daughter recently realized that she can dance. Can't imagine it has anything to do with the fact that she has also discovered alcohol.

Hamburgers after such a night? I would have ordered breakfast. It always tastes SO good after a night out on the town (or in a basement).

wv: cominto: posting a comment with minty fresh breath

Polly said...

three hours of lambada and macarena, I'm very impressed with your fitness levels, with or without wine. yes, we'll need a little demo at blog camp

vw matingen - matingen to you too!

K13 said...

OK - that was freakin' hilarious!!! Hope the hip doesn't need replacement anytime soon.

Your mom sounds like a riot!!

Extranjera said...

Molly - Awesome meme! And I'm totally appalled at my bidy for not being able to take a few sporadic kicks...

Cyndy - I think alcohol plays a leading role in the way I dance as well, or the fact that I dance at all. Actually, I don't dance. Ever. Because I hit people and look like the above mentioned moose (on crack). However, sometimes wine will play a trick on me and things like these happen. Hmph.

Polly - What happens at blog camp will never stay in blog camp, so I think I'll skip the dances and just jump up and down like a moron for hours. How's that?

K13 - Expecting a hip in the mail any day now. And riot? I'll run that by her. I think she'll be so proud...