Thursday, June 04, 2009

An ode to Hubby

I'm still sort of left dry of things to write (and my fokken keyboard still lights up for no reason confusing me as I try to write), but I realized that I owe someone a post. The hubby that is. On how awesome a husband (and human being) he is. This post was to be the result of that ring he designed and had made for me.

And by that ring I mean this ring:

Some kind of quarts set in something something silver. Close enough.

Why I was reminded of having promised this sort of post to the hubby was that today I got breakfast in bed. Every single inch of my body is hurting from yesterday's golf at the course affectionately (I misspelled this word twice yesterday, only to realize my mistakes in the car hours later, and was left wondering whether this was it [too much wine] for my brain) called Devil's Field. The tips of my fingers feel like I borrowed them from a corpse and I won't even go into the specifics regarding the aches and pains in the rest of my body (and the possible links to the dead pieces of flesh at the local market's meat-counter). All I will say is that I think golf was actually invented by the Devil (were he to exist) or at least someone posing as him. I think golf might just prove to be the thing to finish me off, draw my number, send for the reaper, or just kill me dead. Who knew that golf was an extreme sport?

But enough about my impending golf-induced death and onto the man of my dreams (a very natural bridge).  

As I have previously written about meeting the hubby, I'll just launch, face first into a list of epic proportions of why Hubby is so great, wonderful, and the man for me, even after these here several years (I'm told 8) of sharing my life our lives, in hopes of scoring lunch, and perhaps also dinner in bed, as to be ready for another 18 holes tomorrow (smart she is not, but if you wanted to be nice you could go ahead and call her tenacious).

This will not be a list consisting of 'hubby is great because he loves me when I am horrible to him and to others' because, firstly, this is my blog and I will not be portrayed in that light, and secondly, that's more than evident between the lines anyways.

An ode to hubby as a human being of god-like (the loving kind) attributes:

:: Hubby loves complex lists with sub-sections and weird references, and often draws up such things on the backs of envelopes, or grocery store receipts. (I don't know why I'm opening with this, but here it is anyways.)

:: Hubby remembers every single birthday of anyone who has ever told their birthday to him and always informs me of impending important days to remember in good time.

:: Hubby is good with money, and manages to spin it in ways allowing for it to simply pass through my hands without the tiring middleman's (a.k.a. Extranjera's brain) involvement.

:: Hubby is frightfully smart, and can do weird math is his head. This balances out the fact that for some reason hubby cannot pronounce 'vegetable' or 'analogically'.

:: Hubby reads.

:: Hubby is always loved by everyone. I've found this to be an awesome buffer between folks and my personality.

:: Hubby is patient. Extremely patient. For eight years he has been waiting for me to 'grow out of it'.

:: Hubby is kind. There are still orphaned kids in Mexico who talk about El Vikingo who taught them about astronomy. In Spanish. (And this is all hush hush from the hubby, but the man doesn't really speak Spanish.)

:: Hubby tries hard and never quits. Even when all of the forces in the universe seem to be working against him he keeps on going, and somehow manages to pull me through as well.

:: Hubby always takes my side. Even when I go against my mother.

:: Hubby is a man of the world. He feels just as home in a luxurious five star hotel in Singapore as he does dancing barefoot with topless natives in Panama. Hubby is the one who taught me that it is okay to use the bathroom at a fancy schmancy hotel even if you are not staying there, rather than going into McDonalds. Actually, the nicer the hotel the better.

:: Hubby doesn't enjoy watching sports.

:: Hubby is excellent at small talk and doesn't feel the need to swear while engaging in it.

:: Hubby can keep a secret. Just not from me.

:: Hubby has never once mentioned the word 'job' in relation to me not having one, at least in front of me.

:: Hubby likes learning new things, and reading manuals. He completes me.

:: Hubby will always let me sleep in, no questions asked, even though I won't let him go to bed before I feel tired.

:: Hubby can repair anything with glue back to its original appearance, while being married to the queen of duct-tape.

:: Hubby truly feels that no woman can own too many different bottles of perfume, or different pieces of jewelry, and that despite of owning all of these trappings (and more than a 100 pairs of shoes) his woman can wear that same pair of Birkenstocks every day, for two years, without fazing him in the least.

:: Hubby is honest. he always tells the truth, but manages to never anger anyone. Regardless of numerous, and I do mean numerous, attempts, I haven't cracked his formula for this yet.

:: Hubby likes visiting his grandparents. Every year he puts effort into finding them a special present they will enjoy. This year they got a picture book of South Africa, so that they could 'see what we've seen'.

:: Hubby always likes people, until I tell him not to.

:: Hubby will go out for pizza at 2AM because my very drunken friend would like some, and upon returning not be angered by the fact that the friend is asleep on the couch and I'm halfway strangling myself with the tent-bed I'm attempting to put together, while I'm also reaching out for the pizza to munch on as he proceeds to extricate me.

:: Hubby loves animals. Even the sizable cows his parents insist are really dogs.

:: Hubby has mad braai skillz. (This point is in no way a comment on the love for animals, although I must admit my thoughts went from cow-size dogs to juicy steaks.)

:: Hubby has an endless supply of praiseworthy qualities, and he will go to great extremes to make me happy. I doubt I could have done better in any possible universe. The only potential question in the equation is how long will Hubby have me.

I'm ready for my lunch in bed now.


Molly said...

What a guy!
I feel a bit of a crush developing ... maybe 'cos he kinda reminds me of my fella too.
But more noteworthy in this here context of YOUR blog is hell Ext, you're clearly quite a lady to have attracted such a fine male specimen. He's all that and he's yours. Go girl!

And PS, don't say I didn't warn you that golf is eeeeVIL ...

julochka said...

he sounds fabulous, but danish boys are fabulous and mine has many of these traits as well. especially that patience thing. i'm also counting on that he will continue to keep me, tho' there are encouraging signs, just two days ago he said, "i love you wife, even when you're here." isn't that sweet?

i am in awe of the use of parentheses in paragraph 2. you put even me to shame.

does hubby read your blog? because if i wrote such a post about how husband is a keeper, he'd never see it.

and as far as his own blog which i discovered, he's hoping the internet posts something on it...he thinks it's an evolving life form, you know...

you should probably try golfing in the US where you could at least drive around in the golf cart and drink heavily and not have to carry your clubs.

M.J. said...

Hubby sounds wonderful. You are a lucky woman!

iasa said...

What a sweet post. Kindness can never be overrated.

Optimistic Pessimist said...

Hubby is a very amazing man...and breakfast in bed with the possibility of lunch and dinner in bed - you a re one lucky lady!

Also - my guy taught me about using a fancy hotel for the bathrooms over McDonalds...who knew? No one ever questions us.

AND...i LOVE the ring!

My name is Erin. said...

I can completely relate. I often wonder when his dark side will finally show, because one person can't be this wonderful! I'm glad you're blessed with someone similar. :)

B said...

He sounds wonderful! And that ring!!!
I totally think the same about boyfriend, how long is he going to stick around, when I can get so horrible and mean, and demanding! He says he thinks I'm cute when I'm demanding! Bless!

rxBambi said...

Since it's been said already I can only reiterate: but yes, he does sound quite amazing. I am often totally confused at how my husband can still love me some days even when I am a total crab ass (which seems to be more often than not lately). Anyway, congrats on finding such a catch, but from what I've read about you the last month or so I think he is pretty lucky as well.

What the heck is braai??

Polly said...

This the ninth comment under this post where all I can say is that yes, hubby does sound amazing.

And I'm sure he's even more perfect now that you have that ring.

Extranjera said...

Molly - Thanks! I'm so glad that you have someone awesome too. And yes, golf is evil, but I refuse to let it win at this stage. I'm gonna whop its ass. Someday.

julochka - the funny thing is that looking back at the vikings and their raping and pillaging track record it is hard to believe that Danes make such good spouses. Although, normally when folks hear that we are a Finnish-Danish couple they peg me as the Dane. I don't often know whether it's a compliment or an insult... All I know is that hubby smiles and touches much too much to be a Finnish man.

What's husband's blog address again? I'll go and leave a comment.

M.J. - Thanks! I'm thrilled i decided to go the traditional way and get married. Then it is more acceptable to completely let yourself go and expect to still be loved.

Iasa - Thanks! Hubby is nothing if not kind.

Opie - I'm glad to hear that you are over McD toilets as well. Who knows what goes on in those, with all of them suspicious teenage people hanging about. And thanks, love the ring as well.

Erin - My biggest fear is that hubby will turn out to be either an alien or a genetically rejuvenized nazi.

B - Mine doesn't actually go as far as calling me cute when I'm gearing up to draw some blood, but he is very quick to accommodate and placate. Works for us.

rxBambi - Thanks! He is quite a catch. And the first guy I ever fell in love with within a fraction of a second. I didn't even start noticing any minuses until years in the relationship, and even then it came in the form of "boy, his feet are kind of flat-ish", or "he can't pronounce the g in vegetable".

Polly - I never was averse to bribery, as long as I'm the one being bribed. One of my more lovable qualities.

Vancouver's Enviro Girl said...

How did we manage to marry the same man? Oh, I know, MM baby!

I am still in awe of the fact that my hubby loves me and dare I say, worships me, and I am so un-worshipable. Isn't it great to have someone who is in some ways your complete opposite yet you still manage to fall madly in love and still want to be in each other's company?

Extranjera said...

VEG - I know! It is so awesome to have someone in front of whom you can pick your nose, and that person's only comment is "find anything good?" (did I mention I'm very good at talking about snot etc...?).
MM, baby!

Vancouver's Enviro Girl said...

I actually LOL'ed to that comment in my office and my co-workers are thinking about committing me. Which might be OK given the fact that my Wednesday bit the big one. I think we actually may have married the same man. They should totally get together and start a blog. If mine wasn't afraid of the internet.

The Fragrant Muse said...

Your husband does indeed sound like quite the catch! Especially the part about not watching sports.

Why is it we manic women with brains that go faster than the speed of light have all attracted patient gentle men? My husband is the calmest person I know while I run around like a fart in a whirlwind.

And when I ask why he loves me I get one of two replies:
1)"karma" or
2)"sniff sniff sniff...I smell stinkbait. Someone must be fishing".

Your ring is gorgeous. Now snap a photo of it on your finger!

julochka said...

his blog is 5 ants are more than 4 elephants (apparently a swedish children's show, tho' i thought he was brilliant, but he is half swedish), but i don't think you can comment b/c there are no posts...

there's not much viking left in the danes, i've observed. i have lots of theories about why the men are so cool which we can discuss at blog camp...

My name is Erin. said...

Fart in a whirlwind! OMG! My new favorite saying. I'll try my best to use it sparingly. Thanks, Muse!

Extranjera said...

VEG - I think hubby is already my official guardian. A little committing (commitment, comet?) never hurt anyone.
I think we should start a blog for the hubbies, or have them join julochka's husband's. He hasn't posted any either...

Muse - I love them calm, collected men. Although, I envy the fact that you can make yours wear a wifebeater. Mine wont. That's one of his minuses. My grandpa wears one, but it's not as cool 'cos he also has Wolverine hair and that gets all the attention...

Re the ring: I wear it on my right ring finger (hubby was very sly to get it measured...) and can't photograph with left hand. Might be ambinostrous, but ambidextrous I'm not.

julochka - will stop by, and at least feature on his site meter as a 'fan from Finland'. looking forward to the discussions!

Erin - We should maybe put it up there with rad as a saying we love. But with this one, julochka's not allowed to not be on board!

Seaside Girl said...

Great post and fantastic ring. Must go before I get weepy....sniff

remember moments said...

sounds like an AWESOME hubby. I'm jealous!!

julochka said...

i have to say that although i'm not in favor of mobning in the blogosphere, i'm quite content with being left out of both whirlwinds full of farts and rad.

so there.


Extranjera said...

Seaside Girl - Thanks. I'm taking the ring to blog camp and then we can cry together when I finally manage to bang it so hard on something that the stone breaks. I do this with all jewelry. Constantly.

Remember moments - Thanks. I kind of like him too. Could you tell?

julochka - Okay. After further pondering I'll be sticking with just rad (and can not seem to let it go).

Anonymous said...

I love your hubby!!! Must go get myself one too...

Extranjera said...

Kirsi - Hubby loves you too. Working on finding something (I really mean -one) similar for you!

iasa said...

Well, if you are headed to the hubby market for Kirsi, could you pick up one for me too in the Rasta section.