Thursday, May 14, 2009

On coffee and getting up in the morning

I was woken up this morning at the ungodly hour of 8AM (I know, poor me.) by someone sanding down the door and door frame of our hotel room. They were getting ready to paint the doors. Doh. The hubby had already gone, and we had apparently decided to skip breakfast. I'll often say that I'll do this without remembering even waking up enough to be asked whether I wanted to (or this is what the hubby claims at least). So feel my terror, when I discovered that the coffee stash in the room only contained decaf, which is one of the four horsemen right alongside Photoshop. Many of you cannot probably even imagine the emotional roller coaster ride the decaf-discovery resulted in. I almost lost it for a moment and contemplated the potential downsides to dashing down to the hotel bar in my towel for a cuppa. On the plus side would have definitely been yet another Wikipedia worthy WTF-look from the wait staff. But no. I am, after all, a civilized grown up.

Could have fooled me.

I had to shower quickly, and not only because of the potential for scoring some coffee downstairs once I had clothes on and my hair didn't look like someone poured either drool or glue onto it (insert a dirty semen-related joke of your choice here) while I was snoring away, but also because the fumes from the doors already painted at the end of the hall were getting me just a little too high, just a little too early in the morning, and interfering with my need for coffee in a very weird way. Have you ever experienced a state where you aren't quite awake, and feel that you have been sipping on some gin or vodka when all you really wanted was some Zeuz-honest caffeine. Well, I guess we've all been close to that at 4AM on a Tuesday Sunday morning in some weird club that specializes in something called a Martini-Wartini, that you sneered at in the beginning of your night out, but at 4AM can no longer remember why, because you've downed six of them, and eaten the olives too. But enough about my blackouts fun nights in Copenhagen.

Finally, I got me some coffee, some bonus vanilla cookies, and some soda water too, and all was well with the world in the end. However, my coffee-emergency got me thinking about an ordeal I go through every single morning without a clear reason as to why - that thing called getting up and out of bed.

Damn you Lutheran work ethic! I thought I had done away with you so well, but this business of getting up in the morning (instead of the afternoon, 'cos eventually everyone needs to pee, and that's best done in the toilet), which is a sub-branch of the whole "by the sweat of your back must thou make thine own sustenance" (quoting from a very liberal - my own - translation of the bible, and am totally shooting from the hip, and too tired to search the online King James. Lightning bolts?) banished from paradise rule thing God threw at Adam (and Eve, his cow. Oh sorry, I didn't think she was human, because of the whole him having dominion over her. My feminist bad).

But, it's not so much God who has instilled any rules in me, it is a much more powerful force - my mother (also sometimes known by her Indian name: Looks sweet, but totally rolls with the big boys). She always was and continues to be the most powerful force (along with my father, who oftentimes finds it wise to agree with Ironfist though) in my life, and I love her dearly (because and despite of her). And even to this day, no matter of the amount of continents, oceans, and kilometers separating us, if I attempt to sleep later than 8AM I hear her call out my name, with the same volume she has always used in her brand of child rearing, as if I was still in my old bedroom, just off the hall, and I invariably get up. I have managed to resist her 'subtle' suggestions of me perhaps entering the workforce, but this getting up in the morning I just can't shake. But hey, if I was actually working I would probably find it a blessing.

Oh mom, I do love you, but stop shouting already. I. Am. Up.

14 comments:

Just Jules said...

I hear my dad in my head when trying to sleep in. In fact I still can not be in bed clothes past 9am for this reason.

The coffee emergency I totally understand and would have surely risked a nasty look from an employee to score a cup. If drug addicts can look as they do trying to buy them some, then I can have mussed hair (although I always travel with a ball cap for this reason) It is just safer for all parties that they smile sweetly and hand me the cup - which is what I would tell them with my "I am going to rip your head off if I do not soon get caffeine" look in my eye..... ok, obviously I am still only on my first cup this a.m. must stop this comment and clear head with another cup....sigh

Julie - WV is stripigg...that has to be something

iasa said...

I understand the need for caffeine in the morning. I once trekked 3 miles through the bush at 5:30 in the morning just to get a Coke. (i just can't drink coffee). my husband came home from hunting to find me gone at that hour and freaked out. He always kept several cases at the house just for me after that.

I don't know why he was bothered, it wasn't very far and i had every intention of coming home.

My name is Erin. said...

I went to school the other day without stopping to grab a to-go mug of coffee. I clearly wasn't thinking (probably because I hadn't had coffee) and my whole day was thrown off because of it. *screaming to the heavens* "Damn you, coffee!!! What is this sick hold you have on my life?!!!"

As for hearing Mom's voice and sleeping in past 8am. Much to my mother's dismay, I have never had a problem sleeping in past noon, wearing sweat pants until I absolutely have to leave the house and no amount of screaming or gentle coaxing could change that. Then I had kids. Have I mentioned that they ruin everything? But I still wear sweatpants all day. My husband is such a lucky man.

B said...

Just reading your ordeal this morning really made me suffer! I could quite literally have a breakdown if I discovered I don't have coffee in the morning.
The having to get up at 8am? No, doesn't happen to me! I can happily spend the whole day in bed!

marathoner81 said...

The things we'll do for coffee.

I find I am unable to negotiate turining a corner before I've had my morning coffee. I (more often than I'd like to admit) bang into the wall. I have lots of bruises to prove it!

As for sleeping in late, entering the stupid workforce has broken me of that wonderful habit. If I didn't have to work, I wouldn't.

Extranjera said...

Everyone - I'm so glad y'all can relate to the need, if not coffee, then at least caffeine. It is nice to know I'm not alone in my going completely insane if I don't get my fix every morning.

Jules - Hear you on the (not so little) voice scaring you out of bed...

iasa - maybe I should start storing some cokes just for this kind of situation. Good idea!

Erin - Nobody's saying I'm out of my bathrobe. I'm just out of bed. The bathrobe is a whole other issue...

B - I wish i was better at sleeping in. I do.

An Open Heart said...

I got caught smiling after this one....and, I totally identify with the past calling us out....
Mom and Dad linger.....

julochka said...

my dad always said, "you're tradin' daylight for dark." or i should say he says, b/c he is still alive after all. however, if he was hung over (read: on thursday mornings after wednesday evening at the golf club), he could sleep in, so i don't feel that guilty.

and i have no qualms about not getting dressed. but to be without coffee, that's just wrong.

caroldiane said...

realized at some point late yesterday afternoon that the flurry of activity in the morning had precluded coffee - OHHH, that was why I was so grumpy and falling asleep! Accepting my habit has become a necessity is a relief! I didn't hesitate to make a strong cup first this morning.

Extranjera said...

Marathoner - For me the seconds before coffee are more of an emotional time, sometimes resulting in breakdowns.

An Open Heart - Yup, and shout.

julochka - I don't think my parents have ever slept in. They are up like 6AM, every AM...

Extranjera said...

caroldiane - embracing coffee is probably the best thing you can do, since you can't really get away from it. A legal, accepted addiction.

Seaside Girl said...

Just need you to know that I have been laughing about you being woken up by the door sanding all day. Total agreement on all the coffee comments.

Polly said...

I always claimed that coffee is a heavenly drink and the lack of it in the morning can cause the strangest sensations.

There is a slight chance my mother knows your mother, sounds like they're from the same tribe...

Extranjera said...

Seaside Girl - Now I'm finally laughing too...

Polly - A whole tribe of Ironfists? That is actually a pretty scary thought.