Thursday, May 07, 2009

Random stuff on account of not doing anything besides drinking

What does it say about me that this morning I had to check on the computer which weekday it was, but I was fully aware of the date?

What does it say about me that I have a brain melt (not a sandwich, and also not to be confused with a delicious brain taco) whenever the internet goes down, drink a bottle of wine and cry myself to sleep? I mean, I miss the hubby being here at home with me, but without internet I feel like I cease to exist. This is probably why I relate so well to julochka (who, according to the SA connotation of the word is a total babe, and also perhaps according to the American connotation, but that's not what I'm into). I can't but relate to her fear of going up in Chenin fumes if there's no 24h internet access.

Why am I on the verge of firing the maid again? Is it me after all? But, in my defense, she still did not understand what the wheels on the vacuum cleaner were for (she was carrying [and dropping] the thing) now that she finally understood that not only carpets are to be vacuumed. And I do think she is the explanation for my beat up toothbrush (Now keep another one underneath the sink. Yup. Paranoia).

What is this obsession that I have developed with sugar free chocolate? And yes, because I know you were wondering, it is in fact true what it says on the packaging: "Excessive consumption may have laxative effect".

Is it really possible to love a book as much as I love Junot Diaz's (this is allowed grammar nowadays) The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao. I don't want it to end, which is an awesome excuse for not reading it and hanging out on the internet instead. Yesterday afternoon was bad - without the web I was forced to read 120 pages. I feel sad, since I know Oscar croaks.

Why does coffee taste better from a big cup? It does. It really does.

Why am I effectually avoiding my flesh and blood friends? Have I inadvertently gone completely hermit? Is it possible to count giving the guy mowing your lawn a glass of water as a friendly encounter?

I think today I'll have to venture out into the real world and go have coffee at a friend's house. Enough is enough.

Edit: I realize that combining large amounts of laxative chocolate and going out might not be the sanest thing to do, but I'm going to give it a go nonetheless. Bear with me.

25 comments:

julochka said...

i suspected that you had lost your internet again last evening...

i'm actually thinking i'm spending too much time online too and might have to go analog for the weekend. just to see if i can. it's a long weekend here with the big prayer day tomorrow. so maybe i'll start with that.

anyway, i hope you're not still sitting there and reading this. go, be with people. and no, the lawn guy doesn't count. :-)

Extranjera said...

julochka - Ugh, but I am still here... However, I'm gearing up to at least unlock the front door. That counts for effort at least.

I should take a little (unforced) break from this here addiction too. Silver lining though: I'm no longer addicted to Facebook, now it's Blogger instead.

I know.

B said...

If you two are considering staying away from the Internet the end of the world must be approaching! :)
Extranjera, I know, I have totally transferred my unhealthy obessision from FB into Blogger. Twitter never really did it for me. I wonder what the next thing will be...

Extranjera said...

B - Haven't checked FB for days now. Weird. I'm getting more and more into Twitter and now boast a vacuum cleaner company, 2 bookshops and a cafe as followers. No liquor stores yet, or wine exporters, must step up the alcoholic tweets, i guess.

stepforddreams said...

I was addicted to FB but one day I had a lightbulb moment and removed all of my photos and then suddenly I was no longer living what my husband called a "reality tv life". I was so pleased with mysef for breaking the addiction but then when I went to create my daughters baby book I realised that I had stored all the info about when she sat up, when she first crawled, what she liked doing at 9 months, 1 week, 2 days and 13 hours old on FB and I had deleted it... I just wanted to slap myself really hard in the face.

Extranjera said...

StepD - Oh no!
I haven't actually deleted anything, I've just stopped compulsively checking Fb and posted something about existing in other webby places from now on, which prompted quite a few people to comment on how I was being rude and inconsiderate ;o)

blackonyx said...

I really want to read The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao so it's nice to hear how much you love it. Junot Diaz came to New York and had a book signing earlier this year and I was so mad because I didn't get tickets in time :(

Also FB is way too time consuming, I should follow you guys and stop checking it so often. The internet is so addictive...

Extranjera said...

Blackonyx - It is awesome, but you do have to be able to at least understand Spanish, otherwise quite a bit of it is lost.
I only have about 50 pages left of it, but just don't want it to end...

Polly said...

Hi, this is the funniest thing I've read today. But it also made me realise my obsession with blogging is getting serious. I'm right there too... it's not funny.

But sugarless chocolate???? For goodness sake...

Looking forward to meeting you at the blog camp.

Extranjera said...

Polly - Thanks! I am just a tad too into this whole alternate universe... and can disappear into it for days on end. Not good, if one needs vitamin D (and you cannot get it from wine i guess)

Looking forward to meeting you too!

Vancouver's Enviro Girl said...

Oh, if my internet access would be denied, I think I might have to commit myself to a mental hospital for the duration. Or have a nap. Yeah, actually the nap sounds better.

Coffee really does taste better in a big cup. I have a very large coffee mug, which my hubby refers to as a bucket, which is actually only slightly smaller than our coffee maker pot.

*Sigh* I only WISH i were so lucky to go to blog camp and meet you all. Especially you EX, as it would seem we are some sort of lost twins separated at birth.

Kirsi said...

Come on!!! Sugar-free chocolate -- what's that?!? It has to be the real thing or otherwise it's not allowed to be called chocolate!

I agree on the coffee cup. Like the ones my Grand-mom serves coffee from. There's a tiny drop of something black(ish) in it. Once you try to take a sip, your nose hits the other edge and you end up slurping the black(ish) liquid somehow... Does not taste good that way!

marathoner81 said...

How's that coffee and laxative chocolate treating you so far today? You're a brave brave woman.

I never tried facebook although I've secretly longed to try it. Now that I've found blogger I don't think about it anymore. I have completely and totally become obsessed. There are definitely times I would rather be on blogger than communicate with people in my everyday life.

Extranjera said...

VEG - I already sleep like 12 hours a day, so no naps for me. We'll have blog camp in the states or Canada at some point. I'm sure! You'll always have a place in SA (or as long as we're here...) and Finland, and Denmark (if you can room with the in-laws...)

Kirsi - It's laxative fat that tastes good! Have never been very culinary. You're the one who used to know how to bake and shit, while I just operated the microwave... Love ya dude!

Extranjera said...

marathoner - laxative chocolate and wine. Good bathroom-ey cocktail... we'll just leave it at that. More pleasant for all parties involved...

marathoner81 said...

nuff said!

Just Jules said...

Careful if chocolate is sugarless because of aspartame I suggest you Google "side effects of or dangers of aspartame" and watch yourself throw said chocolate in garbage (reality sucks, sorry- having off day)

Coffee tastes better from a big cup because you are able to smell it better - getting the other senses involved!

Blogging - a serious problem for me too! When the weather/if the weather finally turns I think I will find myself more easily drawn away

Elindomiel said...

"brain melt (not a sandwich"

I loved this to death. XD


"I feel like I seize to exist."

Just because I'm super picky and used to correcting English, and because your English is usually so impeccable that I thought you might want to know, it should be 'cease to exist', not 'seize to exist'. Unless you are making a pun I don't get, of course. :)

Love your blog. ^^

Extranjera said...

Elindomiel - Noted and corrected. That's what you get for writing in a haze... and letting Apple do your correcting for you. (Should probably at least read through before publishing)

Extranjera said...

JJ - No need to worry, the sweetener is maltitol. Not melting my brain or giving myself cancer (very hard that is). But Thanks! I don't think it is even legal anymore to stick aspartame into foodstuffs here (they just put it in diet sodas.

B said...

I only have a weird van removals company following me on Twitter! Must make more of an effort!

M.J. said...

Red wine and Belgian ales also taste better from a big cup....

Extranjera said...

B - The secret is compulsive twittering. You have to tweet at least like every hour. That is the only way to enrich your web life with weird porn site followers...

M.J. - I think you've got something there. I think the bottom line is that any alcohol tastes better from a bigger cup. Quantity is key.

B said...

I don't even manage a twitter a day. Again, must try harder!

Extranjera said...

B - You've got to attract them porn sites. Otherwise, what good is twitter? keeping up with your friends? Please.