Wednesday, May 27, 2009

What's new, Finland?

First of all, either Finland is somehow sucking all of the inspiration out of me (and possibly channeling it into drinking very, very, very bad tomato wine - yes, an actual tomato wine that someone made on purpose and my mother doesn't want all of you to know about, because it's "bad publicity for Finland" and she would like for all of you to love Finland as much as she does), or I've just been busy drinking coffee at my parents (they have a Moccamaster) and reading a whole years supply of old 'women's' magazines and the compulsory gardening crap my mother never seems to understand is one of my all time hates. I do love Me Naiset though (Us Women brings feelings into the net. What is there not to love?). It always takes me back to the 80s, whether it tries to or not.

Thus, I have been rather analog and IMless. Sorry about that.

It turns out that Finnish children are the fifth happiest in the world. I can see this in my brother who just got his driver's license and is finally enjoying life to the full. He is yet to have to put gas in the car though. That might just affect his overall happiness a smidgen, and his wallet a lot. Finland is still an expensive country and I have been very subtly, on several occasions, informed of the joy it would bring for my brother if there was more gas in the tank. I'm not budging, even though he is teaching me how to golf.

Due to my father's dishonest ways (but in the purpose of good) I and the hubby will be playing golf here.  My father managed to transform our three lessons at the driving range that we managed in South Africa into handicaps good enough to be allowed to play on the nearby course. yesterday I was learning all about a swing, getting out of the bunker, chipping, and something else that involved the tiny ball, lots of metal and odd stares at my Birkenstocks and clinking bracelets. At the driving range I managed to hit a power wire and a bell and feel pretty good about my achievement. Hubby hit a fence twice.

I think we're ready to take on the course. Why not?

Regardless of needing a cleaning lady to come sort out the bachelorette pad we took over upon our arrival (read: mysterious and quite ominous looking things under the bed, perma-grime on the stove top, unmentionable issues with the bathroom, and such other pleasantries) and me wanting not to deal with the cleaning lady, on account of being on vacation from them and the poor lady therefore being left to deal with my mother, I'm quickly remembering why I return to this country every year, but also why I leave again.

I love summer Finland.

27 comments:

julochka said...

it all sounds lovely except for the tomato wine. i can see why your mother is worried on that front...unless it's really just tomato-flavored vodka, in which case it matches a recipe i just got on that recipe exchange chain letter thingie and it sounds perfect for bloody marys.

i've done a similar golf thing--going to the driving range and then pretending to be good enough to hit the course proper. what i found is that i am excellent at whaling it off the tee, but not so good when it comes to the bit on the green. and now i haven't tried in years.

stay strong on the whole gas tank thing...

you're not wearing the birks with socks, are you?

Extranjera said...

julochka - It's all pretty lovely except for the tomato wine.. And crap I have forgotten about the recipe exchange. Will get on it today! Have now jotted it down to be reminded.

I'm slightly dreading taking on the course tomorrow, but my brother seems to think that we are totally at par (ha ha stupid pun) with my other brother and his girlfriend (who have been playing for some time) so that makes me more confident... Maybe. I'm still gonna suck, but unless I kill someone with either the ball or the club (I already hit the hubby in the knee yesterday) I'm gonna feel pretty good about it.

Extranjera said...

Oh, and no sock with the birks, although I might have to - you know to fit in with the locals...

julochka said...

the lack of socks is probably why they're looking at you funny...but stay strong on that front too. :-)

Molly said...

You see, I could probably handle tomato wine - at a push - but GOLF?
Nooooooo.
I think it was Mark Twain who said Golf was a Good Walk Ruined, and I couldn't agree more.
Come back to Africa!

Cyndy said...

In my experience with golf, the 19th hole still holds the best memories. The beer and the food washed away all the bogies.

My son just got his license and access to the extra family car. I filled up the tank with a warning that this is the last one I'm buying. He loves to drive so he will have to learn to pay to play. Fortunately, he has a bike to use in between paychecks as he learns...

marathoner81 said...

I have a very bad mental an physical reaction to tomatoes...it's on of my most hated foods.

I'm shaking with fear just hearing about this tomato wine.

remember moments said...

The golf sounds awesome - hysterical too!! Have fun!!

rxBambi said...

Just remember that golf is 'moments of brilliance surrounded by a lot of crap.' I'm actually the opposite of you; I can't hit it off the tee very well but I'm awesome at putting. Must be all that miniature golf ;)

I love tomatoes...my fave salad is tomato/mozzarella. But tomoato wine? gonna have to pass.

Every once in a while I buy my kids a tank of gas, but they have to really deserve it. Otherwise it's all on them...

Extranjera said...

Molly - This kind of golf involves great amounts of alcohol and possible funny bodily harm, so I'm game. I'm sure Mark Twain was not drinking while he was playing. Too bad for him.

Cyndy - Lucky for my brother he is the baby which means that he has free use of my mother's car and my father's wallet. And I'm also in to the whole golf for the sheer want of something called birdie-bottle, which I'm told can be tequila.

Marathoner - I'm kind of allergic to tomatoes as well. I feel your pain.

Remember moments - Thanks! I'll try not to actually kill anyone.

Extranjera said...

rxBambi - I think so far my golf is just moments of crap and hitting stuff I'm not supposed to. But I like it so far...

Vancouver's Enviro Girl said...

I don't do golf unless it is of the mini kind that involves small windmills and sharks swallowing your ball on the 8th hole. I think that I would just be too dangerous with a club and a small ball. I would definitely hit something and not the right something.

We miss you, so don't get too lost in Finland.

julochka said...

i can't really leave behind the tomato wine...somewhere in my head, it's a cross between finlandia with that stuff they call "wine" in china, but which is really a heavy petroleum product of some kind...which will strip the paint off the side of a mercedes if you happen to throw up out the window (not that i would know) w/a dash of mr. & mrs. T's bloody mary mix. is that anywhere close?

have they made you go in the sauna yet?

Betty Noire said...

I love golf, and one day I am actually going to take it up.

B said...

The Finnish are always at the top of those happiness charts! How do you do it?
"I'm quickly remembering why I return to this country every year, but also why I leave again." This is exactly how I feel about Spain, but don't tell my parents!

Extranjera said...

VEG - But this golf involves hitting things either with balls or clubs, a lot of alcohol, and hubby trying to speak Finnish (always a hilarious thing) and did I mention a lot of alcohol (okay, so maybe I would breed snails and think it was fun if it entailed as lot of alcohol). I miss you too, but my family is having a hard time understanding my necessity to be on line. Except for my dad who I think might be one of my weird followers.

julochka - It tastes like tequila blanco mixed with sock juice and smells like something that was left in a thermos two years ago while camping (i.e. leftover powerade mixed with pee since Harry really had to go and it was raining outside). I still have most of the bottle left in the fridge. You are welcome to come and stay and have a taste (although a whiff might be plenty).

They haven't forced any sauna on me yet, but they did make me go see the new Star Trek, which I loved and now I'm afraid something is really off in the universe and that I might actually enjoy sauna.

What's going on?!?!

Betty - I don't even really like the sport, but this hitting stuff somehow really appeals to me. Who would have guessed?

B - All of the unhappy ones kill themselves. Not kidding, we also head the suicide chart.

I hear you on the paradox. I love this place, but I don't belong here.

Vancouver's Enviro Girl said...

But I would inevitably hit myself with club or ball or both and then the party would be over. Except of course, if already inebriated on alcohol. Hmmmm, actually maybe I WILL take up golf. And my hubby speaking Finnish would be hilarious too, as he would totally be making it all up and yet somehow still SOUND Finnish.

Extranjera said...

VEG - Uhm. I already hit the hubby in the knee. Really hit. And then tried really hard not to laugh my head off.

Wine is good.

Vancouver's Enviro Girl said...

Yep, I was laughing when I read that. Other people's pain (well, not real pain, like stubbed your toe pain) amuses me. I hope that doesn't make me a bad person. Or evil. Maybe I will have to join the polar bear assassin squad?

Extranjera said...

VEG - Funny is funny.

let's just not tell the hubby. or my dad.

julochka said...

well, at least herman was not involved. and i think with all that camping that maybe you should take a bottle back to molly, she might like it. (i'm still on the tomato wine--like an annoying dog after a bone at this point).

and now turning to golf, looking back, i should have given the doctor starter husband a wack or two with those golf clubs. but they were wilson staffs, so i didn't want to wreck them. hmm, speaking of those, i wonder where they are...

and seriously people, you need to look more closely at your contracts, it cannot be, even in these economic conditions, that you have to fly monkey. not on lufthansa anyway...

wait, that bit of the convo wasn't on this blog...this damn IMing is confusing.

and i can't participate on VEG's blog b/c it will not open for me at the moment. not on either computer. which is weird, b/c everything else opens.

Vancouver's Enviro Girl said...

Julochka: I have completely lost track of the IMing thing, though I think we did a lot of it on your blog. And I think that the blogger gods are angry at me today and are punishing me by not allowing you to enter my blog, or maybe its just another brick in my wall of absolute ridiculousness of things that go wrong in my life. Either one.

julochka said...

VEG--possibly it's both.

Vancouver's Enviro Girl said...

Julochka: yeah you're probably right.

Extranjera said...

Coach, I'm afraid.

good times, tough times. Doesn't matter.

Dammit.

My name is Erin. said...

You ladies and this whole IMing thing is making my "quick blog reading session" not very quick at all. I'd skip all the comments, but you're all too damn witty. I don't want to miss anything.

Tomato wine sounds like something best left to cooking. Blech! Speaking of cooking, have decided to keep the Chef Hubby around despite his questionable coffee making skills. For the kids.

Golf brings back childhood memories best left to resurface on a therapists couch rather than a golf club fairway where all the other golfers can watch me curl up in the fetal position and cry. I do believe that my father had high hopes for himself at my expense. Though I have been trying to go out once every couple of years with the husband and his family. I'm not half bad. Must be all the hours logged in as a wee child.

I've heard the new Star Trek movie is great! I can't wait to go see it. Is it bad to leave the kids in bed while we sneak off to the movies? It is? Oh, damn!

Extranjera said...

Erin - We try (and lead very uneventful lives apparently that allows us plenty of time to IM like a bunch of loons)

I don't think the tomato wine could even be used for cooking. It's a bottle of scary that I'm too afraid to even pour down the drain.

Went to the driving range again and the only noteworthy thing that happened was that hubby almost killed the guy moving the lawn when the end of his driver c´broke clean off and flew about 50 meters.

Fun times.