Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Brainspasm - Can it kill you?

Can't deal.

with.

writing.

I just spent the last 12 hours, without any break longer than the time it takes me to get to the coffee machine, set it to brewing coffee, and get back to the kitchen counter to the computer, proofreading a dissertation. Well, nearly 100 pages of it.

It was pretty awesome and seriously smart-like, but it also seems to have depleted my brain of everything worth writing. Also, my right eye droops. So of course I think I'm having a stroke. Because, naturally, it couldn't be that I'm just tired. Nope. No sirree. I'm having a stroke, induced by modernity and globalization.

Because that would be the normal sequence of things. Yes.

(Wednesday morning)

I know it's the morning and everything, but my right eye still droops, the Hubby is suddenly on his way to Kenya, I dreamt about globalization and a guy wearing a silk robe (related to the dissertation), and the internet was down for two hours. This must mean that I am in fact having a stroke.

Right?

Or maybe I'm just being Extranjera?

Bear with me.  Tomorrow I'll dazzle you with my pathetic attempt to find a biltong-shop that will vacuum pack meat for me, a boutique with cool African crap in order to come up with the rest of the much needed presents for my peeps in Albuquerque (because I need a deadline to get stuff done), and a frantic packing attempt that is already pretty much doomed, since packing really is more the Hubby's forte, and I'll probably just leave the country again with a bikini top, a banana, and some toothpaste.

And it won't be pretty.

They said they'd be right back to take me to my own planet, but that was 30 years ago. 
.

15 comments:

Josefine said...

Do you smell toast? If you smell toast I'd say you're done for. If not, just try and breathe deeply and maybe prop up your eyelid with a match as toothpicks tend to be a bit on the sharp and pointy side.

sciencegirl said...

Don't use a lit match, though.

Lisa-Marie said...

I actually just laughed so hard i almost fell of the sofa(the bad side product is that i have a virus and laughing made my lungs hurt).

I am sort of editing my husbands PhD thesis, so I know how you feel!

*jean* said...

ooo i felt that way last year when i was typing up class lectures for my lawyer husband.....BORING and when done, like a hive of drones had nested in my head and ate all of my brain...

vodka helps...

julochka said...

i tell you strokes are going around. i had several when we were in singapore...it became kind of a mantra there, actually...

Cyndy said...

What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger (and makes a great laugh for all of your bleeps).

Optimistic Pessimist said...

but perhaps you'll remember to pack a silk robe?

Cyndy said...

I've done some research (in the interest of science and my concern for you). A brainspasm is not lethal UNLESS you are picking your nose at the same time. IF you do happen to have your nostrils blocked with fingers, then you must fart to relieve the pressure. Rinse, lather, repeat.

wv: mishwoop. I've already had my fun...

Esmerelda said...

Can I send you my dissertation? I'm totally sick of editing it.

Although I can't be held responsible if it does actually give you a stroke.

Vancouver's Enviro Girl said...

Oh, THAT's what was happening to my brain yesterday when I could not accomplish anything other than staring at the computer screen and hitting the refresh button

Cham said...

Does this mean that any future transcripted conversations you post will be noticeably spoken out of only one side of your mouth?

iasa said...

If you only take a banana, a bikini top and toothpaste, I guarantee you will have the best weekend of your life. But make it a green banana, no use in your fun ending early due to over ripeness.

Georgie K. Buttons said...

Proofreading sucks. Good luck.

Argent said...

Having had to edit my sister's Master's in Public Service Management thesis, I feel your pain. It does go away eventually, make sure the person whose dissertation you are editing rewards you handsomely.

Andi Smith I live in said...

I actually almost did die of a brain spasm once. It was quite a thrill.
You see I saw a dead persons hand and I just couldn't wrap my mind around it. But I'm sure my experience was the same as many others battling proofreading.

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