Thursday, August 06, 2009

A crap kind of consumer

As much as I'd like to preach to all of you my lovely readers about how important it is to be a conscious consumer and how good I am in this respect, I can't do it. Because the ugly truth is that it is not one of my stronger points. Not by far.

In fact, I suck at it. Not the preaching, but the being a conscious anything. I don't ever weigh the pros and cons, instead I jump, I don't think things through, I jump, I don't consider all of the angles, I just jump (Are you getting this: I'm a jumper, and not the woolly kind either). Sometimes, I land somewhat beautifully, or at least with minor scrapes and bruises, and other times I need an ambulance and a heavy sedative. Wine often comes in handy.

However as far as doing any kind of consuming consciously, I reach an even further low, a veritable low to blast all of the other lows to unknown heights.

I realize that many of you might have already deduced this from my desperate need to own an iPhone, getting it, and then spending the following days complaining about it. Especially on Twitter. But what none of you know is what else I managed to procure on that fateful outing.

As it happens, I was seduced by a pair of these:

Why yes, I just propped a pair of wonky shoes on my kitchen counter and posed them for a photo. Doesn't everyone do that?

What are they exactly, other than a pair of rather girlishly (I toned down the colors on the pic, the pink actually is quite garishly pink) colored cross trainers, you might be wondering.

Oh silly, they are Shape-Ups of course. 

You haven't heard of them? Well, neither had I until I spotted them in the shoe store window. They are cross trainers with a curved sole and something else fancy and highly technical going for them. Apparently they promote weight loss, strengthen the back, firm calf and back muscles, reduce cellulite and tone your thighs, increase cardiovascular health, improve posture, reduce stress on knee and ankle joints, vote for you, make world peace happen, and make your farts smell like roses.

Yeah, right, you sigh, and I have to say you might just have a pretty good point there. 

And I can only account for my purchase with the exact same argument I made about the iPhone: "Ooh, shiny."

That is the unconscious part, see.

In the past I have bought things because I loved the color, it sounded cool to own one, it felt good against my cheek, the commercial was really funny, everyone told me I should get one, everyone else had one, and because it came with a free gift. That's it. I really, really suck at being a conscious consumer. 

But I'm trying to be better. I have decided that I'll actually wear these Shape-Ups. I've already worn them to go to golf last Sunday, which involved the walking into the garage while wearing them, sitting in the car while wearing them, and then as the coup de grace: walking around the car in them to get my golf shoes. I was too lazy to change back into them after golf though. I hope that doesn't cancel out my good start. Hmm. 

Now, I have no illusions about these shoes having any effect on weight loss, and I realize that if losing weight ever was a goal of mine I should probably drop the wine and the burgers instead of buying a pair of weirdly colored shoes (and just so that you know: I'm fat. I don't mind it unless I'm on an airplane. I don't think I should lose weight. I'm in 'excellent' health [post pink eye]. And I like myself.), but I figure that I now own these shoes and it can't hurt my posture, or my calf muscles to wear them. And there is that world peace to take into consideration as well...

So what do you think? Should I be in consumer prison for even entertaining 'shiny' as a valid reason for a purchase, or be celebrated for my child-like ability to bypass any common sense and just get things I like?

Let me know. Meanwhile, I'll be in the back yard walking in circles being constantly distracted by the shiny, dangling-carrot-like pink on my shoes. 

I might be gone for days.

16 comments:

Eternally Distracted said...

You are an advertisers dream! I am the opposite, if somebody tells me something is great I have to think of a million reasons why it is not ... However the idea of you wandering in circles in your newly bought, shiny shoes is enough for me to think it was a worthwhile purchase ... For YOU!!

Mara said...

Why, if I ever invent something, I'll present it to you first just to get a head start.
I'm down with the celebrating the inner child. Go for it. I'm totally not an advocate of loose spending by the way... I swear...

Not So Glamorous Housewife said...

I kind of want them now. Nice. Thank you Extranjera. I personally like to try new diet fads. I once did this week long diet "cleanse" of lemon water, red pepper, and organic maple syrup. I ended it before I was supposed to as I wandered past the local chinese restaurant. oooooh I can still remember how good those fried wantons were. mmmm......

jen said...

thanks again for the lol moment. let us know how kick-ass your calves turn out after your backyard walk! :)

kristine said...

i have wondered about those shoes. i think i was reading that some supermodel has them (see? it works). I am also not a very good consumer, but living in belize has helped with that because there is nothing to buy except beans and rice. Then again, it makes me a bit overly shopping crazed whenever I leave the country; I am like a child who doesnt get to east sweets at home.

kristine said...

i mean eat sweets. of course.

kristine said...

ps. sorry to hog your comments coloumn but - really? It came with an instructional CD? Did it say something other than "put shoes on, walk"? I'd like to request a post dealing specifically with that. Please?

I'm Kim, by the way said...

I want to know more about the CD too. And I want to see this garish pink in person. ;)

monica said...

Missed out the last post of yours :(
I think you should rather delve in with your child like ability :)And we'll get to read more of such amazing posts :P
We girlz do have this tendency to purchase a thing just because it has a nice color. It's in our genes! So don't bother about being a 'consumer in prison '.
As always, I'm glad i dropped in at your page.

Optimistic Pessimist said...

You know how I feel about shiny things...I don't think you should ever change your ways. I say if it's shiny, buy it.

Also - I prefer to photograph my shoes on my bed or on the screened-in porch, but that's just my personal preference.

Optimistic Pessimist said...

are you having trouble with twitter? I can't get on it an am starting to have a meltdown. the cold sweats and shakes have already set in. i don't know what to do.

Vancouver's Enviro Girl said...

You must have really toned the pink down because they look grey to me. When you are done, please send them off to me. My ass could use the workout when I walk from the lapop to the kitchen (a grand total of 5 steps) to get more coffee. Oh wait a sec, something shiny......

WV: tuper. EXT'y your TUPER (sorry, burnt my tongue with coffee and am lisping)

Becky the Sign Lady said...

I have a pair of these shoes. Only mine aren't shiny pink, so I'm kinda jealous.
They spend most of their time in the cupboard under the bathroom sink. Now you've inspired me to drag them out of their safe place and take them for a walk. Lord knows my butt could use a bit of lifting...

Love, love, love your blog!

Kyrie said...

Oh, yes, they are a sexy pair of shoes ;)

I love your rants and how you try to compromise with your buying the shoes. xD

My name is Erin. said...

Your impulsive spending can't be any worse than my compulsive blog reading despite the long list of to-do's I have today.

(I'm off to Detroit for the weekend to see Tori Amos & eat at Iron Chef, Michael Symon's restaurant, Roast. But will be avoiding eye contact with the horrible urban-decay that will be surrounding me.)

So does catching up on all things Extranjera really count as balancing the check book & paying bills?

MeanDonnaJean said...

Those shoes may not do much for the bod, but hey, at least they're cute....'n thats all that matters, right?