Friday, August 28, 2009

So about last night...

I think I just might go all Bridget Jones on you now. You know, to lighten the mood (mine) and to prattle on about absolutely nothing. But hey, it's one of those days.
  • Hours slept last night: One whole one this morning.
  • Jet lag going strong: One immense one.
  • Ears in danger of being horribly disfigured by either a doctor or an extraterrestrial being: One (and a half - it's that big)
  • Realizations relating to why Van Gogh might have cut off his own ear: A whopper, which I firmly believe must in some way be related to a piercing gone bad.
  • Ears still attached to head, however: The standard two (and a half).
  • Pages read from John Van de Ruit's Spud - Learning to Fly between midnight and morning: 188, and would have indulged further but had to finally think about sleep at 5am. If you haven't already, rush out NOW and get all of Van de Ruit's Spud books: Spud, Spud - The Madness Continues... and Spud - Learning to Fly. In This Twilight infested world they are good, well-written, and fokken (I shouldn't use that in connection with these books, should I?) funny specimens of teen-literature. 
  • Time spent laughing in bed last night: Roughly two hours. Not consecutively though and only at Spud, not in any way at the curled up Hubs, who kept grunting all viking-like in his sleep.
  • Time spent being horrified at possible ear surgery in the near future: If it wasn't for Spud, six hours, but because of him, roughly 15 minutes.
  • Times the Hubby was poked by someone because of rattling like something made out of tin in something made out of tin: Three
  • Times the Hubby was poked by his concerned spouse because he seemed to have stopped breathing: Four. Glad I'm still more afraid of him dying than being annoyed at his man-sounds. 
  • Time spent hyperventilating in fear over alien-ear in bed last night: About two minutes, but then hubby would say something really vikingly archaic in his sleep and I would have to giggle.
  • Time spent mulling over complete lack of reason in relation to piercing decision: Will never admit to anything. Never. 
  • Number of different possible scenarios thought up last night involving mother's reaction to daughter's actions, especially if losing part of daughter's ear becomes a reality: Many, and all of them rather daunting.
  • Times pondered whether it would be fair to cut someone's beard while they are fast asleep: Just in passing...
  • Time spent cutting a beard with eyes closed this morning: Only some of the time, and there was no blood.
  • Time spent ogling at the Spud book and thinking reading it right away seems like a fun thing to do: Current thought. A persuasive thought....
See you again tomorrow. Hopefully with all of my ears still complete and attached. 


Not So Glamorous Housewife said...

Good luck with the ear. I certainl hope you get to keep it. Not that it wouldn't make an interesting read. I did mine myself. I say next time you do it with an ice cube and a well disinfected needle! No more back alley piercings for you. Well, I'm off to fanny about the office in a short skirt.

lam├ęditerraine said...

Hahahahaha your posts are so funny!
Don't worry about the ear thing,it happened to me two or three months ago.I didn't have to cut my ear but remove the piercing xD

I'll try to find that man's books,it looks like you have so much fun reading them.
Kisses :)

Esmerelda said...

That's exactly why I had my ear cartilage piercing exactly four days before the sheer excruciating pain made me pull it out.

M.J. said...

Your face would look really lopsided with just one ear. If the one falls off, I think you should consider removing the other one two. You don't want to look like an imbalanced freak do you?

Anonymous said...

Good luck with the ear....ouch!

even in your pain your blog rocks! :)

Cham said...

While snipping at the beard would indeed be giggleworthy, I think shaving off an eyebrow would make for a hilarious conversation piece.

Chris Hoke said...

Wowza. Good luck with that ear. I'm sure it'll be fine in no time and like new again before you know it. And, if not, you'll be too incapacitated by the pain to care about some internet guy's initial optimistic fluff.

A friend of mine had the same thing go on with his left nipple piercing. It went away in about a week with the help of antibiotics. Thank goodness it was his nipple and not... err... elsewhere.

An Open Heart said...

Come by and pick up your award....


ScrewedUp20Something said...

This one and the post before made me laugh out loud so many times.

I do hope your infected peircings clear up really soon.

Also, get the hubby to a sleep clinic ASAP, sounds like sleep apnea, and there are treatments for it.