Monday, July 13, 2009

There are quite a few things wrong with me

Indeed.

I think, unfortunately, that I'm starting to feel the symptoms of a kind of stage fright, related to having gotten quite a few new readers of late. Welcome to all of you! Don't mind the scared, sweaty woman hiding in the corner. She's just the writer.

Seeing as I started this here blog to a completely empty room, and then sort of got used to writing for Dawn at From Congo, my first follower ever until I made made my friend Lady Kicks, and the Hubby follow me, because I thought that three was better than one, I'm feeling just a tad overwhelmed. Glad, happy and grateful, but also overwhelmed and stressed. I'm just a complex tangle of feelings, I am.

Okay. Actually I'm terrified and drawn to the bottle as a potential drowning place for said stress (never said I was healthy, actually might have declared the opposite), on top of feeling the weight of responsibility for what I write.

None of you are like 12, right?

I don't want to corrupt any young minds, but I also don't want to stop swearing. That would be like checking a part of my personality at the door. And no one wants that, because once you only take on the 'wholesome' part of me there really isn't that much to work with. Sort of like my hair: Once you remove all of the product, there really isn't any hair there, and what little there is just lays flat and doesn't want to stand up, no matter how much you stroke it.

Thought I couldn't include a dirty joke, but there she bobs.

I must say though that I was, and still am, quite proud of the fact that my first ever follower (and also possibly my first ever reader, excluding myself, since I do like to read my own posts, the pathetic mess that I am) was from such a cool/scary/awesome/horrendous/brilliant/frightening place as Goma, in the Democratic Republic of Congo. Dawn does some awesome work. Go check her out.

A completely unexplained, doctored photo. because I felt like it and it reminds me of warmth. And now it's also explained.

But how did she achieve the Blog of Note glory (Thank you again Blogger! and yes I'll stop raving about it after this), if no one ever read her?

Well, the story doesn't end with Hubby.

(Insert yet another dirty joke. This time one of your choice.)

It continues with my fairyblogmother™ julochka from moments of perfect clarity.

After julochka received her BoN glory (The mention doesn't count, as it isn't my glory, yes?) last April, I happened to click on her blog. I read a few posts. I liked them. And I liked the fact that she was a foreigner in Denmark married to a Dane. Something I had been before. (Still married to the same Dane, just no longer in Denmark. Don't get excited.)

I commented.

She ignored me.

I commented again.

And then, at the hight of her BoN glory ( I promise I'll stop saying it now), she made me her 'Blog Crush'.

Awww.

And that made my follower count climb to 141, and was the start of an awesome friendship (and we haven't pissed each other off yet, which is kind of a record for me, so I'm pretty pleased and proud about it all).

Those 141 bleeps (i.e. blogging peeps), julochka most of all, will always be dear to me. As will you my new readers. I will cherish you.

As long as I figure out something to write about. Something that

a) Has nothing whatsoever to do with fingernail clippings. (Oddly, I have commented on several blogs lately and somehow come to mention this detail every single time.)
b) Doesn't contain some weird list. (Impossible, I tell you! Impossible!), or
c) Contains some action other than

1) Me drinking.
2) Me not showering, or
3) Me blogging.

Good luck with that, lady.

63 comments:

Love+Pain=John said...

Wow, some of that I did not understand...wow, Trying to change huh? Want to live with the same **** but you don't want to. Been there, done that.

kasabiangirl said...

We don't want you to stop swearing either...btw nice to know your beginning as a blogger :D

Mara said...

You know, you shouldn't really stress so much over getting new bleeps. xD Anyone who watches your blog ought to have at least looked at it before, so they should anticipate any swearing, your lists, your drinking, your not showering, and your blogging.

BardSpeaks said...

If your drinking, not showering, swearing and whatevah else, make you one helluva an interesting blogger, so be it! Don't change! Just blog!
:-)

Cyndy said...

Don't ever change. Ever. It is the Extranjera that did not think she was being read (at least by many) that we love. Besides I have it down to a science now before I read you: get coffee (or wine), go pee, make sure I have another clean pair of pants just in case first pee did not do the job, snuggle into chair and get ready for a roller coaster ride of emotions. It's all good. xoxoxo

wv: querds: questioning nerds who just. don't. get. it.

monica said...

I love you the way you are, so don't give any attention to these random thoughts.Your swearing, jokes, showering, drinking etc. its all a part our everyday life. Moreover, all this stuff gives a umm sense of belonging. I don't know you personally, but reading your posts makes me feel as if you are a close friend.
So keep blogging the way you have been doing so :)

jane said...

i think you work quite well under pressure:) don´t mind the swearing- will just look up what i don´t understand ha ha...

Avantika A. said...

Well, since i am one of your new readers, let me assure you that crazy is good. Crazy is perfect. Crazy should be made a universal norm! Cheers i say to the crazy!

Jessie Ann said...

I am one of the new readers you speak of. I have started reading everyday you have a new post and they haven't disappointed yet. You are hilarious and I love the way you write, like a close, funny friend who is sharing a laugh over coffe (or wine). You make us feel like we are there through these funny and awkward days. Don't be nervous - just keep doing what you do.
Well done.

Judearoo said...

No stage fright necessary, me dearie. Just keep em coming and we your hordes of adoring fans (well, amused enough to keep reading fans) shall follow your tangent-filled threads of thoughts with much glee. Oh and any lulls and its lanterns and pitchforks time, Im afraid. ;)

Dave Keeble said...

That was an amusing read, yet quite insightful at the same time. Very interesting to see how you started out, and became popular. :)

Jay. said...

By the time children are 12, I'm pretty sure they know most of the swear words in the English vocab. I would know, coz I'm 13 =D

Laiza said...

Hello! It's like you're becoming a star but a bit reluctant to accept the honor. :)Hey don't be affected by your increasing number of followers...just write whatever you want to write and feel...I am honestly following your blog because I totally enjoy it. :)
I want also to share my own thoughts and feelings in my blog at Pieces of Me

CrazyCris said...

My friends in college and I used to have a saying:

"sane people are boring!"

so please keep up the crazy! ;o)

Interesting to read about your beginnings, seems like you started off blogging around the same time I did, but you definitely wrote about some much more interesting stuff!

I understand your feeling of being overwhelmed by so many followers. Mine only jumped from 13 to 33 in the space of a week, but it was enough for me to go "woah! how am I ever going to say hi to all these people and remember who they are when they comment on my blog?!" I still enjoy that sense of "knowing" my commentors.

Just tell yourself you must be doing something right if so many of us are hanging out in your corner of the blogosphere!

cheers!

MELANCHOLICMELODIES said...

hi extranjera Im one of your new fans. i found your blog through "blogs of note". i love the humorous way you describe everything even serious things. ive been reading your old blogs for some time now. i laugh like a kid when i read your blogs. cheers looking forward for more wine and swearing........

Angelina said...

One of my firsts blogs was about having a following of reads, if one could be so luck.

http://toblogtoday.blogspot.com/2008/02/faceless-but-real.html

Just do it because you love it, and the rest will follow.

Paradigm_Shift said...

Hallo, there. New reader here. Your blog subtitle is what got me curious, and you've been keeping me entertained with your wit ever since. So's far as I can tell: I'll be around indefinitely! :)

Keep writing!

manxrunner said...

Haha, I've just started reading it, like, literally this blog and it's actually cheered me up even though.. well, I don't know why :) wow, you live in South Africa? I'm planning 5 weeks there in summer 2010 teaching, whats it like? Thanks x

ellen abbott said...

I'm also one of your new devotees. I'm OK with the swearing and the not showering...sounds a bit like myself. I don't usually look at blogs of note but glad I did to find yours. You entertain me. Maybe you'll stop by my place once in a while.

C. E. said...

I am one of your new readers and, if it's any consolation, I do not have outrageous expectations of you. You could write an entire entry about a mysterious stain on your blouse and I'll be happy - because I rather like your blog (as do some 1,000 others and I understand why you're a bit nervous about appeasing all of those souls). I like your blog very much and, no, I don't comment enough at all and I apologize for that. I apologize for not being a better bleep, the kind of bleep you so obviously deserve.

Keep up the great work (and, no, I'm not just saying that because I can't; lying makes me feel icky).

Take care.

Steve Wood said...

Well as a newbie myself in this particular blogosphere, I already like you. You know you get people like that in life that you take an instant like to.

As I'm new here one has to trawl through litraly hundreds of blogs of such inane mindnumbingness ( is that a real word, it is now ) that its a real trat to meet someone real and says it how not neccessarily how it is but how they see it.

I see I have a lot of catching up to do with you.

Nice to meet you. Really it is!

kristine said...

sorry, i have to re-post my comment. it is early morning (yes, i read you with my morning coffee, are you touched?) and it was scrambled and looked like another language, possibly icelandic. Just wanted to say wow, you have over 1000 readers, that's insane - no wonder you need a margarita, that would give me total performance anxiety - but having said that, your performance remains top notch, and no need to stop swearing or list-making (stop list making?! are you crazy?)!!!

Just A. Girl said...

wow, look at all those followers! you really are becoming quite the celebrity. Don't worry...they will love every bit of you because you're blog is addictive. Can't go more than a day without getting an extranjera fix. =)

Karen said...

If you quit writing like you do, I will be forced to unfollow/unlurk at your blog!!

You do not know this (until now) but we have shared many a bottle while reading your blog!

I am new to this site but if you get REALLY bored and want to see what this insane person is all about you can go to: http://karen66.multiply.com/

Out of the closet on lurking,
Karen

My name is Erin. said...

Ok, so everyone else beat me to it, but I'm going to mini-blog like nobodies business here. And in a list no-less.

1. You make me laugh. And what was that you were talking about that made me laugh? (a list within a list... beat that!)

1a. Toothbrush fears. Is the made using it for toilet duty?

1b. Terrible coffee and how it can ruin a morning.

1c. Wine and how the mass consumption of it can lead to hilarity and maybe a little embarrassment. But its always delicious and necessary.

1d. Tales of golfing woe.

And a few reasons that remind me that we're all really the same, no matter where we're from or where we live.

2a. Stories of driving insanity So.Africa

2b. Stories of hotel wait staff in Zambia.

2c. Zambia and Montana have very similar internet connections.

2d. Apparently store clerks are awesome (ie.inept) the whole world over.

Ok. Enough mini-blogging. They follow you, because they love YOU and the words YOU write. Write about anything! XO

Cyndy said...

Erin: You also need to check out the stories about salad lady and dress shopping (among so many others) but these two, in particular, left me gasping for air...
(hint: both written before visit to home)

The Karen Chronicles said...

I loved reading this post - and the honesty! You deserve many, many more followers!

gymnstxlvr said...

Hey!
I'm 13, but since you are completely hilarious, and people at school swear more than you, this is great. Don't get nervous or change!

faith
dazeoffriendz.blogspot.com

spudballoo said...

It's a tough one...you've gotta blog like there's no one reading but, you know, people are...and followers and site meters tell you just how many.

I think you have to suck it up and just be you since, after all, that's why we're reading!

Swear away. I'm British, I swear like a trooper...bloody hell old bean

PS Word veri...'bless'...snort

Vancouver's Enviro Girl said...

Dude you are perfect the way you are. And people wouldn't follow you if they didn't think so too.

An Open Heart said...

Please tell me, that in the middle of your performance angst, you didn't REALLY run out of wine...? Right?

I love to read your blog.....and I confess, I do not drink coffee the way you do, but, consider my morning read of your blog, my morning coffee, so, WRITE ON!
S

Rags said...

Well great Blog.. do drop in sometimes to my blog too!

Bill Stankus said...

Well, I dunno ...
The blogosphere is one nutty place. It's always in the 'now' and rarely in the archives. I've watched as several blogs got the BoN, not sure it's good or not.

All that aside, there a flavor out there for everyone, so that makes it cool. In other words, do whatever you feel like doing. SImple.

Ranger said...

Thats awesome of you to keep doing what your doing, I know about that personally. I started my blog on the same basis, but just with a twist. Maybe you guys should check it out too!

Maedin Tureaud said...

I'm glad I stumbled upon your blog yesterday because it's hilarious, but I'm also not so glad because I see you have a ton of posts and I'm going to want to read every one of them. 36 in May alone! Out of interest, why don't you enjoy hair appointments? Is it because you have to make small talk with the hairdresser?

Keep up the swearing, it's fun and natural to read, :-)

pandoraskey said...

We love the blogs as they are honestly I'm not real big on swearing but I gotta admit you use it well when needed-hehe. I'm sure most of your new readers have read a lot of your previous writings and have surely been fore warned-lol! be you! your writings make me smile :D

Extranjera said...

People! You are just the awesomest bunch ever. I'm all touched (but in a good way, not the MJ kinda way). I must say I'm left peechless by how awesome y'all are.

A heartfelt thank you for getting that weird woman out of the corner, and by Zeuz, she was already standing in a puddle of sweat and people were quietly moving away from her and giving her sideways looks. So you did a good deed!

Thank you. Really!

p.s I don't like hair appointments, because that means a stranger touches me. I'm Finnish. That should explain it.

p.p.s I'm gonna ignore the ages of my readers from now on and proceed on a don't ask, don't tell principle. Cool.

Optimistic Pessimist said...

Is this what the whole "going to the gym" thing was about? Personally I don't care if you're fit or flabby. Just keep drinking wine, not showering, and blogging and all will be well.

Nicole Woolf said...

Check out my blog - I just started it and need a first follower (do I sound desperate) and I am not healthy either! I think you are a great writer by the way - even a blog by you about hangnails would be interesting (and that's a huge compliment because I find it hard to concentrate for long).
My blog:
http://spork-road.blogspot.com/

Seaside Girl said...

Shame on you. How could you go and get blog of note while I was away wallowing in self pity? All my congrats and hugs to you. I am so pleased for you and it is so well deserved. The news really has made me smile all day.

Jeff said...

I am a new follower but absolutely love your blog, you more than deserve the following!

Nezzy said...

Just ran across your blog today. I am an unpublished childrens book author. I started blogging Feb. and just ran with it. Oh, the life on a farm nuzzled in the hills of the Missouri Ozarks USA. I really enjoyed reading you blog and the best of luck to you with your writing.

Erin said...

Hi there. I'm one of these new people you are referring to. I felt called out so I figured I would say Hi :) Love the blog!

P.S. No, I am not 12, just, ya know, in case you were worried.

P.P.S Now I feel even more exposed because I admitted to being the new person. Oh god.

Jay said...

I really enjoy your blogs

Esther said...

<3

MeanDonnaJean said...

When it takes longer to read thru the comments than it does the post itself, ya know ya must be doin' somethin' rite.

And u, my dear, are.

Sooooo, for goodness sake.....just keep on bloggin'!

P.S. Yer gonna have to tell me all the dirty lil' secrets on how to attract more readers.

And now that I mentioned it, that'd make a great topic for a future post! Whaddaya say, huh? Will ya at least think about it? I sure can use all the help I can get!! ;-)

KelsG said...

I guess I count as one of those "new readers" you spoke of. It's nice to hear about how a blogger starts out, seeing as I'm doing just that. And if you can't tell the whole internet you're crazy, WHO CAN YOU TELL? Keep it up!

Not So Glamorous Housewife said...

Thank God for blog of note. You are truly my new favorite so keep swearing and being interesting PLEASE!.....or else I shall feel obligated to follow you due to my feeling sorry for you as you were once a successful blog of note but now sit in a wood paneled room drinking sherry in your bathrobe writing about your favorite color and why Jerry Lewis inspires you.

Not So Glamorous Housewife said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
iitSiitSj3laNii said...

I just started blogging as part of a summer art program at the Museum of Modern Art in NYC (www.humorinart.blogspot.com)

I just started reading your blog and your pretty hilarious. I'm only 14 but I'm mature for my age! But don't stop cursing or whatever because it shows that there's a real person with character, not just some boring computer robot writing this blog, LOL.


Keep up the great work =]

court_nicole said...

I actually just joined this site a few days ago & just began reading your blogs and I am already hooked; and if you're feeling overwhelmed by the bleeps* (love that word..good one) you have now, you are gonna have a confronting time on here =) because im sure there are more bleepers to come. keep blogging-you're awesome. -Courtney

♪KathleeN♪ said...

Aha funny... i like your blog. I just saw it in the blogs of note and clicked on it...

Anyway, if you have time maybe you could check out my blog... It's lame but i'd like to know what people think...

http://blogfromthebeginning.blogspot.com/

holly said...

ha ha "bleeps" i love it. are you going to trademark that?
it may be because i make it a point not to follow hundreds of blogs, but your blog is definitely one of the most entertaining and interesting blogs that i read and i actually read your whole posts which is unusual for me with posts of your length.
so don't sweat it. i love your blog :)

L.C. said...

Hi, One of your new readers here...I enjoy you being your very funny self. Please continue unencumbered and uninhibited and unpredictable. It's refreshing.

Just me said...

Loved the post. Warm & amusing as ever. You are fantabulous. Now, (POURS LARGE MARGARITA & puts it down for you while swearing like a sailor and laughing like a hyena) please go on as before and ignore my newby presence entirely. Pretend we newbies aren't here so please as before write for yourself. We love you as you are.

Eidothia said...

Even if you dont answer this comment.... hilarity thy name is Extranjera !!

Cheers

Barbara said...

Swearing shouldn't stop. I don't know where it came from but I got this email from who knows who these people were that told me my blog was pornographic because I used certain words. Now last time I checked there are no naked people okay maybe the odd half dressed one but because I used these words I was rejected by them. I never did figure out who they were and this was probably confusing so I'll shut up now.

Okay I'm not shutting up quite yet because I just had to mention that tubjet is my word verification which amuses me. I guess it doesn't take much. Some of them are really strange but this one sounds nice. I want to jump into the tubjet and get a massage. Maybe it means there's a tub in a actual jet. Who knows and sorry but this babble has to just stop. Scary isn't it?

Rustenes said...

Your blog is beautiful, my thoughts are very good Congratulations

Say Anything Notes said...

be you. it's the only true way to be. i'm a newbie too. your blog title drew me in...i thought...oh dear... i ask myself that almost everyday. enjoyed the read. thanks.

Shona said...

I am proud to be your first follower, and I've enjoyed you the whole way. Thanks for sending a lot of people my way with your post. I really appreciate it!

Gracey said...

I am new to your blog, but I am already addicted to it. Keep posting exactly the way you are now!

eyelleee46 said...

im probably one of your new readers. haha. hmmm. not 12... im 15. but you could go on and keep swearing. im entertained. :)

julochka said...

are you sure i ignored your first comment? i don't think i would have. unless it was inane (ha!) or only provided a link to your blog or was just one of those "no-reply blogger" comments, i sometimes ignore those.