Universe poking at me. And not on Facebook either.

I would like very much to stay positive and all pleasant as not to scare anyone more than usual, but unfortunately the universe just keeps poking at me with one mother of a stick huge honkin' POLE (and not the kind that Polly is, 'cos that might even be nice or at least funny, but the kind that is 100% made of them things in the forest, and hurts like hell when it hits you in the gut, or in the back of your knees). So, in order to let off some steam and other fumes I will just have to talk about a few issues. Just a little bit. Because, boo hoo, my life is so hard.

And as if on cue the sun comes out. WTF universe?!?! Enough with the mind games already.  

So what now?

Well, for starters this house firmly believes that it is in fact a freezer. We have talked about it at length, revealed said belief as a delusion, but the house stands firm, and just won't heat up. The house maintains it was never meant to be a Tuscan piece of mockitecture and it has decided to come out of the closet and embrace its true identity as a common household appliance. To each its own. I can not but put on a third cardigan, and get some more coffee.

I mean, how long can this winter really be?

Two more months?!?!

You gotta be fokken kidding me?

Finns get cold too. They do.

Secondly, the golf coach today was quite appalled at what I have done to my technique whilst in Finland. Personally I was happy about not having injured, maimed, or killed anyone with the club or the ball and felt that I should be rewarded, not told that instead of rotating, I lift and straighten. Oh, woe, golf and sucking at it be thy name.

Believe me, coming from the mouth of a golf coach those are some harsh words and can bring tears to a grown man's eyes. Not being a grown man, I didn't cry though. I swore, and as usual will turn to drink later on today. Yup, any excuse will do, or sometimes even no excuse.

So much for being the next wünderkind of golf. And I almost had it in the bag hole. (Okay, nuff with the stupid puns. I agree.)

Thirdly, as I was leaving for golf this morning and got into my snazzy piece of that stuff you sometimes have to fish out from your drain that used to be a part of you Daihatsu it would not start. The light that I found out (after a search in the manual which I only resorted to because my computer was already turned off and Google had gone to bed in it) signifies 'engine failure' was burning bright yellow and nothing happened. Not even a sound. I think the light looks more like Texas and less like engine failure (no more stupid puns, please), but that might just be me. Still, I'm in it deep. Since I don't know how to change a tire, I for sure don't know how to fiddle with an engine block, unless 'engine block' is a euphemism and my mind is in the gutter. Then I'm game.  

Hubby is off to Tanzania tomorrow and I'm stuck driving the four wheel drive monstrosity I pretend does not reside in the garage (and I think has done something bad to my little Daihatsu while no one was looking) and hate owning.

Oh, and I just bit my tongue.

Damn you universe. Go bother someone else.

What war and famine? I have real problems.